Will I ever get used to the loneliness of Sundays? I am not adjusting well. It looms before me, I meet it with dread.Sunday is a family day. Most of my friends have families, a 'proper' family. They do 'stuff' on weekends.
It's not weekends in their entirety that I dread, Saturdays are not a problem, children come to play on Saturdays, friends call round, the shops are open, there are jobs to do. But then Sunday happens...
Even the children feel it. Friends are busy doing family stuff. I know we are a family, but the rest of my family are not close by, I feel isolated and a little lost.
My first instinct is to run away, make arrangements, go to visit. But most people are busy. Then I persuade myself to sit it out. I can't run every time, we are three and we can have good times. We can, I know, we have today, but it took a long time to let go of the feeling of being alone, of being different, of trying too hard. It's over now, for a while. The week is full of work and school and children's clubs and classes. We come together at the end and we are happy, we are a family, it feels 'normal'. Why can't I do that on a Sunday?
So today I wandered, indecisively thinking of several things to do at once. Tall Girl wanted to go to Grannies, but I was determined not to run, not this time. We got it together in the end. You can see the fruits of our day in the photo(ignore the date on it, don't know how to change it!). We cooked and iced and got sticky and messy and felt a bit sick! We had fun. We were a family, just us three. I can do it, we can do it. I just need some more practice. I guess there will be plenty of that.
This was Small Sprogs cake. He was proud of his icing skills.
The picture on the cake is of our house, with my car outside.
He says he chose to ice this because it is a 'happy house'.
I cherished the words.
19 comments:
I hope the cake tastes lovely and that every Sunday becomes a happy day
Well SS thinks it is a happy house & his cake conveys that.
It wouldn't be so bad if the weather was nice. There are lots of things to do if the weather is good & it doesn't cost anything to go out.
I stayed in front of the fire today because of the cold.
Do the children like board games?
I think you are all adapting very well, even if you think you are not.
Maggie X
Nuts in May
Thanks Maggie, yes, if the weather was nicer it would have been so much easier to have entertained them cheaply.
They do have some good games, but prefer to watch a screen of some sort,so I always feel I need to entertain them so that they are not glued to something electronic for the whole day.
as my son and l ate out sunday dinner tonight, l asked him if he missed the sunday table dinners en famille..as l do....he looked at me with raised eyebrow and said 'no way'....like had l forgotten the teenage bickering and the atmosphere? enough said really, sad but true...
l had perhaps done them a disservice by stying in it to win it...
he said that we have lost nothing by this 'move' and that we had all come out better for it....
l think in the most part he it is true...but l till miss...so much...
and yet feel curious about the future.....and l so want to live and appreciate the moment...
we all see the same moment so differently...
Saz is probably right, you're envying all those happy families but are they really enjoying themselves as much as they seem? It looks to me like the three of you were having a good time anyway. But maybe there're other single mums who could share Sundays with you?
I think you did the right thing. Reclaim Sunday's for yourselves. A clean slate to do what you want with.
I had roast dinner yesterday with Lou B which we hardley ever do. A 'normal' Sunday for us is spent apart.
Sundays feel different for us these days... too often it is just me and my wife sitting down to the traditional roast as son is living it up at uni... well working late into the night actually finishing off all his lab reports and our daughter is often now out terrorising the local shopping centre/park with her mates.
My mother-in-law hates Sundays too - she often comes around to visit us.
I think any new job I need to work Sunday's and have Thursday's off... to quote Arthur Dent - "I never could get the hang of Thursdays"...
Love the cake - SS should be justifiably please with that.
I struggle with weekends. Saturdays are better, sundays are always a bit flat. I must make more effort and turn it around.
We've had to work hard at that cut off feeling too. Practice + saying it's OK to feel blurrrrrr occasionally + some running away + expanding the happiness of your new home = it will get better eventually.
PS: If you do fancy running away, why not run away BIG. Stay, off the top of my head, Edinburgh! That would make it a weekend city break, I believe!
You'll get there in time. :)
I've always found Sunday's a bit depressing with that 'back to school' feeling. My dad was often at work on Sundays, working shifts, but we did stuff with mum like baking and gardening and crafts. Sounds like you are on the way to forging your own type of Sunday with your children. Whatever you do with them, they'll appreciate it and remember it.
Sundays are rubbish and should be abolished. I hate them and always feel time weighs heavily on me. This is not a recent thing, I felt like this in my teens, when Sundays seemed interminable. Well done you for finding something constructive to do. Just as well I don't live round the corner, I would be such a bad influence lol.
I find those days hard too but the days I'm on my own even harder ( although they are few and far between) Do you have any friends whose husbands go away a lot or another single parent that you could have over for a casual lunch?
XX
You know what I do on Sundays? I do my laundry! That's what!
I've always found Sundays a bit flat.
As a child it was mass, then Sunday roast, a long quiet day.
Now its a drive with my mum out for a couple of hours, watch omnibus EastEnders and ironing then Indian take away.
It still seems a bit flat - I imagine everyone else is having a great day.
I understand and would be completely the same. I feel odd if Mr. R is away on a Sunday. Sometimes though the thought is worse than the reality of it and it is just a case of acceptance and adapting. It will come, it's early days and nothing stays the same for long. You will find a way.
Sorry forgot to say. An award at my place for you today.
You are adjusting, and it will all come in time.
Make Sundays extra special! Sit with the children in the morning over a special breakfast and decide what dinner will be; go to the market together, spend the late afternoon preparing it together, and then get out the nice dishes/tablecloths and have a very nice dinner together every Sunday night.
Start new traditions.
May I *highly* recommend game night with the kids... That is SUCH fun and they will always look forward to it because they are playing with you and each other and laughing and learning how to think, interact, win and lose. It's great fun.
Movie night is also fun... order pizza and curl up with a movie or two that everyone wants to see.
There are so many things; the most important of which is at the base of all these ideas; whatever you do, do it together. There's nothing more precious than the time you have with them now.
Scarlett & Viaggiatore
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