Sometimes

Of late I have felt the hamster wheel of life catching up with me. Perhaps, now that I work 4 days a week, instead of half that, I am finally feeling the pinch. Perhaps it is the GCSE's getting to me, God knows I could take them for her (Tall Girl) with all the prep I help her with, or perhaps there is no escape from suburbia?

I am not unhappy here. I love my home and my children very much. I love them here with me and always regret their time away with ex husband but I also, once they're gone, relish the child free time.

I am lucky, I have 'it all' in a way. And as I sit here now, tap tapping on the laptop, with the cat draped over both wrists attempting to give me repetitive strain injury, I can't help wondering what life might have been like had I not left Acacia Avenue. Are things very different? Do I still keep the house running? Yes, and work twice as many hours too! Did I get the freedom I craved for? Perhaps...but I am happy here. Yes, I am, even when I'm alone.

Another Brick in the Wall

Poor Small Sprog has been traumatised by his cookery teacher (I know it's called Food Technology these days but hey, it's still cooking to me!) It sounds stupid doesn't it? But really, he was a complete mess before half term at the thought of having to face her. He says he feels threatened by her. He says when he asks her a question she barks at him. Listening to other things he has said she sounds like she has a screw loose...

Now I remember, back in the '70's when I was at school, regularly being in class with teachers that would throw blackboard rubbers at us (do you remember those? It's all white boards and 'smart boards' now) and I vividly remember watching my Geography teacher hold a boy by his throat up against the classroom wall on one occasion. Yes, I was a child of the '70's where there was still talk of the cane and you were scared of most of your teachers! But haven't we moved on a little since then?

Tall Girl had the same teacher that Small Sprog is complaining about but some years ago. She complained to me too but played it safe in the classroom and - as she is was somewhat of a shrinking violet back then, managed to 'disappear' in the classroom environment and never get noticed by the vicious creature.

"How old is she?" I asked Tall Girl -asking Small Sprog for that sort of information is particularly unreliable.
"Old" she states. I think of nearing retirement, 'old school' a woman that threw backboard rubbers back in the '70's and would still do so if there were such things in schools now.
"Nearing 65?" I ask her
"Nearer 50" She replies as I raise and eyebrow at her and she realises I'm not a million miles from that myself (though I am working hard on reversing the years these days)!
"No excuse then" I mutter, realising that there is no excuse whatsoever, in any circumstances, for threatening behaviour in the classroom.

Valentines Day

I was out with a few people from work the other night and the subject of Valentines Day arose. No one was positive about it, everyone bemoaned it's existence; the cost of flowers, the overbooked restaurants and the cheesy cards. Everyone, without exception, stated that it was a waste of time and that they would not be making a fuss on Valentines Day this year.

So am I very definitely in the minority? Doesn't anybody really like Valentines Day? Or is their loathing of the day just a front in case no one makes a fuss of them, in case they don't get a card and no one bothers to say ' I love you'?

Now I know we don't need to have an excuse to say those words, I say them every day to my children, but isn't it nice, just sometimes, to feel a little bit special?

I'm nearing middle age now (well we're living longer these days so surely middle age happens later on, yeh?!) and I have never lost the anticipation of Valentines Day. From the squirmily embarrassing moments at school, when you either lie and say you had loads of cards, or deny having any because the one you did receive came from the spottiest boy in the school, to the disappointments of adulthood; I still feel the need to have a 'romantic' day. And I am very aware that it's most likely not going to happen but I like that some people (apparently 9 million roses will be sold in the UK today - yes and I know that that in itself is not a good thing), some people are happily enjoying being together with their loved ones and making small gestures of love. It makes me happy. And very possibly over sentimental.

So this morning, I put on my new bra, painted my toes, splashed on some 'Miss Dior' from a sample bottle and headed into Valentines Day feeling just a little but special! Sad huh?! I gave Tall Girl and Small Sprog a tiny box of Valentines chocolates each and cleared up the cat poo from behind the computer desk - nice of him to remember to leave a 'gift'. Yes readers, a romantic start indeed.

As I gave Small Sprog his chocolates - with a home made heart attached saying 'Happy Valentines Day' just in case he was in any doubt to the occasion - he took them absent-mindedly and said 'Oh, is it Valentines Day?' and I laughed to myself - start as you mean to go on Small Sprog, Valentines Day is just for girls really isn't it?

Oh and I did get a card in the post...just in case you were wondering.

Happy Valentines Day