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For quite a while now I have been sleeping in the attic room, here in suburbia. I am happy up there, it is light, airy and spacious, although it is damn chilly sometimes. However over the last few weeks, the mornings have been getting lighter and the birds have been getting noisier. Now I quite like most birds, most of them.....except Wood Pigeons (and Collared Doves).
Lets take Wood Pigeons, nasty things, nasty habits and even nastier is their incessant noise. When I was little my mum told me that they say "My toe hurts Betty". It was quite funny when I was young. However it is the sort of phrase, that when you know it, you can't forget. So now, here I am, years later, being woken up in the morning by bloody Wood Pigeons complaining about their toes. Not just them, but the Doves have a shortened version. Apparently they have no friend called Betty.
They wear boots too. You can hear them. They thump across the roof, just above my head at 5.30 in the morning, with absolutely NO consideration for those that may still be sleeping. You can tell by the pace that they are running, I mean, for goodness sake, they have wings! What is the point of running if you have wings? Stupid birds.
And then there's the constant copulation (them obviously, not me) and the way they feed their babies. Have you ever seen them do that? The babies just thrust their scrawny little heads down the adults throat. Ewww! They really are nasty birds!
Catapult anyone?
Suburbia..... I would give ANYTHING for it to be wood pigeons & collared doves to be running round in MY ceiling!
ReplyDeleteWe get a lot of them & they sit on our chimney and say coo-ooooooo-u
They seem to be *at it all the time*! Not a mention of toes here!
Funny post!
My inlaws use a large plastic owl they purchased at the garden center.
ReplyDeleteThey place it within view of the roof and it does a pretty good job of scaring the birds off.
I would heartily recommend shooting them - until Monday when I join the RSPB as an employee and will have to condemn this thoughtlessness and avian vandalism most strongly.
ReplyDeleteFunny, I've always liked the sound of pigeons. But then we don't get them on the roof. We used to get loads in the garden looking for stray birdseed until we gave up feeding the birds.
ReplyDeleteWe used to have a pellet gun for just such occasions. Pidgins and couples making out on mopeds just across the street--both targets brought great pleasure...
ReplyDeleteI also remember the huge, massive "t-shirt" crows that would stomp all over our tin roof in the mornings...not quite as nostalgic over that noise as I am over the sound of rain on the same roof!
Constant copulation is going on right here in North Wilts too! As you know the effing pigeons are using our satellite dish as a knocking shop!
ReplyDeletesub machine gun more like
ReplyDeleteI shall listen carefully to the pigeons in future!
ReplyDeleteP.S. I haven't forgotten our emails, just waiting to make sure I can have a car that goes!
Apparently they're lovely roasted with garlic...
ReplyDeleteNot Mary Poppins # 2 then? You won't be happily singing to the pigeons out of the window. ;-)
ReplyDeletep.s. have just read Moanie's latest post - WWW.THEVIEWFROMTHISEND.BLOGSPOT.COM
ReplyDeleteMight give you some ideas of what to do with those !
In our last house, I was woken daily by the pigeons. Bluddy things. So I do sympathise. Did you know they mate for life and can be with the same partner for well over 10 years?
ReplyDeletex
Hi Magggie, I guess I shouldn't complain, I forgot about yout R.A.T situation!
ReplyDeleteHammer, a large plastic owl in suburbia? Ooooh the thought of it!!
BS5, If you were shooting it or conserving it, you'd have to identify it first (hee hee) !
Nick, believe me they are the dunces of the birdy world. Kitty says they mate for life, unbelievable, seeing as they seem to have zero memory, but then again, perhaps that's why they get along so well together!
Dori, can you send it please?
Lindsay, you have my sympathy ;)
Jo, you hate them too? Perhaps we need to form a pigeon hating (rather than fancying)society.
Liz, just come round here and listen to them! You'd have to be profoundly deaf to miss them.
Steve, sounds good, but with their habits, it sort of puts you off eating them.
Cheerful, singing? 5 am. would you?!!
Kitty I didn't know, but I do know they are stupid :p
I agree! There’s loads of them round here. They sit in the tree above our car and...well you know. It’s not little either, looks like someone has thrown 5ltrs of white Dulux on the car. I’m putting a catapult in the post first thing in the morning.
ReplyDeletePigeons or Shite Hawks as they're called here are an absolute pest. There's a chap lives across the back from us that has a pigeon cote and everytime I hear him rattling the tin of food and shouting "come on, come on" I want to go strangle him! I do have a soft spot for collared doves though I just love the sound they make.
ReplyDeleteI had to run over here the minute I saw this post title in my sidebar ... you must know what I was thinking:) Actually, I thought you might have a new pet.
ReplyDeleteBirds are lovely creatures to watch...when they're out in your yard, not when they're pooping on your car, or worse in your hair, or doing a marathon on your roof when you're trying to sleep. As for me, I hate starlings--they come in packs and make so much noise you can't hear yourself think, not to mention the messes they make.
So sorry your sleep is getting interrupted...maybe you'd like to borrow one of my cats for awhile?
LOL, the word verification is dectefea, which if you unscramble it, spells ... defecate!
I've got a dratted pigeon in the garden who must have lungs like Pavarotti!
ReplyDeleteI sympathise,
GG
OMG these comments are hilarious. I must admit I love the sound of wood pigeons when I come over in the summer. I sleep at my mum's in an attic bedroom, but it's the bloody magpies that sound like elephants. I had the skylight window ajar one night last summer and woke up at about 4am to find a magpie almost climbing in. Must've been after my ear-rings!
ReplyDeleteThanks EW, I hope I'm a good shot!
ReplyDeleteAkelamalu, love the name! I will think of them as that from now on!
Rose please send your cream and lilac cat!
Does he sing a different song though? Or is his toe hurting too?
I'd suggest a big, cantankerous cat.
ReplyDeleteWith claws.
*wicked grin*
...whatever I can do to help.
Scarlett & Viaggiatore
Someone has suggested the plastic Owl thing... however I think they twig that and then just perch on it and cover it in droppings.
ReplyDeleteMy wife complains about them as I feed the birds in our garden and the pigeons are the hoodies of the bird neighbourhood. They crowd around the bird table, woof down all the peanuts and barge anyone else out the way. However they are also stupid and knock most of the nuts, bread etc. onto the lawn where the Blue Tits, Chaffinches etc. quickly grab it and fly off into the bushes which the pigeons are too big to get into - doesn't stop them trying though every time... like I say Stupid!