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Friday, May 08, 2009

I wonder?

Having had a fairly acrimonious day or so with Husband, when I saw him this morning, just before he went to work, he informed me that he had booked his summer holiday, and that it was on the calendar.

After he had closed the front door I took a look. More than two weeks in the middle of August had been crossed off and scrawled upon "Cornwall with TG and SS". More than two whole weeks. He knows that he can do what he wants, he is taking them away for more than half of the next half term. He also knows I will miss them. 

I work part time in a school so that I can care for the children after the school day and in the holidays. When I wanted to get some full time work, I asked him if he could guarantee he would look after them for 2 weeks in the school holidays and he wouldn't 'play ball'. It would be hard to work in full time employment with only 4 weeks holiday if he didn't cover some of the long summer holiday and look after them. It seems he wants the best of both worlds.

As I registered the lack of children in my life for two weeks I began to wonder. I wonder if he's asked them whether they want to be away that long? I wonder whether he is going away for so long, more to spite me, than to enjoy his children?

This is a rant, borne out of frustration, sorry! 
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12 comments:

  1. Kitty8 May 2009 at 12:15

    THIS is why you need to see a Solicitor and get a formal Court Order. I'm sorry to say that my experience is that this sort of thing will happen, and that it is 'used' as a way of getting at you. It's not acceptable. It's not fair on the children, and THEY are the ones whose needs and wishes need to be met. Not those of your husband.

    Sorry if I sound stroppy, but this resonates with me. Big time.

    x

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  2. Brett8 May 2009 at 13:09

    Look on the positive side, you have two weeks to yourself, book a holiday or a city break, visits some old friends, do a Shirley valentine! Or even all of them!!!

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  3. Liz Hinds8 May 2009 at 14:08

    My friend's ex is like that. She asked if they could change days that she has her son because she was on a course. He refused on the grounds that he 'might get a job'. He's not even looking! Some men (and probably some women but i only know of male examples!) are plain spiteful.

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  4. Maggie May8 May 2009 at 14:30

    Exactly how I would feel Suburbia!
    They can be bloody obstinate (but predictable) if you ask me!
    I am feeling annoyed for you.
    Rant away.

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  5. Akelamalu8 May 2009 at 19:45

    Cake and Eat it springs to mind. You know what you should do? Go away somewhere yourself for the two weeks and enjoy yourself!

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  6. Steve8 May 2009 at 19:53

    Tricky. I was leaning more to the negative interpretation of his actions - as you were - I must admit. Best advice I can give is talk to your children. Make sure they're happy with it. That's all that matters.

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  7. Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl8 May 2009 at 22:21

    dont know what to say here, but you know I feel for you. I cannot imagine how painful this must be for you.

    I am not going to write any platitudes, just know how I would have felt in your place.

    Bloody angry.

    He needs a kick, up the bum.

    Letty who probably is signed in as her dog but what the heck!

    god, I could come down there and wring his bloody neck.

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  8. Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl8 May 2009 at 22:22

    oh sorry I have not been signed in as my dog, well that is good anyway.

    phew!

    keep the faith Suburbia, you are a good personage, you will get there in the end.

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  9. Eternal Worrier8 May 2009 at 22:23

    I don’t think he would be the first or the last person to use the kids to get back at their Ex-partner (the story I could tell). Try to remain cool and calm.

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  10. Maggie May8 May 2009 at 23:10

    Yes...... it was Bristol! (Reply to question on my blog)

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  11. Anonymous8 May 2009 at 23:19

    1. See a solicitor.
    2. Yes, you will miss them (the children) but use that child free time well... :0)
    3. See a solicitor. Please.
    4. He is probably wanting to spend time with the children time and also wind you up ;0)
    5. SEE A SOLICITOR. NOW.


    This is so similar to how things were with my friend.

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  12. Working Mum10 May 2009 at 11:05

    Kitty and Amanda have said exactly what I was going to say. You need to get official rulings on who has the children when and for how long. Men are not programmed to think of what the children need and at the moment, while he is hurt, he is looking for ways to hurt you regardless of the children's feelings. If you let him (because you are programmed to be reasonable, think the best of people and think of the children's feelings), he will take it further and further and everyone will suffer. I hope you sort this out before it becomes too acrimonious. Just to repeat - see a solicitor!

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