Fireworks.

In the car, on the way to school this morning, Small Sprog was getting excited about going to see the firework display. "Daddy wants to take me too" He said.

"Oh" I reply. I was really hoping that it would just be the three of us, I wasn't sure I could stand us all going together.

"He said he really wants to go, can't we all go together?" Said Small Sprog

Poor thing, he is so torn between us, he wants to please us both, he wants to be fair. I couldn't tell him why I wanted it to be just the three of us, I couldn't tell him what Daddy had planned; do you realise that daddy wants to split you and your sister up for three or four days a week? That is what I wanted to say, but obviously I couldn't.

We did all go together. Tall Girl took her friend, for company or protection against the storm, I'm not sure which. For some reason, although my car is tiny, I felt the need to drive us all, something about being in control I guess.

They were superb fireworks and a great display, despite being very delayed and all the 'tiny ones' in the audience heckling with fake countdowns and singing a very rare version of 'why are we waiting'! My children stayed close, I was worried I would lose them in more ways than one, but I did not. We 'Oooohed' and Ahhhhhhed' and smiled and laughed. I hardly noticed Husband at the back.

Afterwards there were hot dogs, they taste better on firework night than any other night of the year. We each ate one, struggling with the soggy onions and the oozing sauce, mmmmm, they were very good indeed! Then someone wanted another. Husband went to get some more, he asked me if I wanted one, he used my name, not shortened as some of my friends do and he used to do, but all of it. It sounded so strange on his lips, sharp and unfamiliar. I declined, but strangely I realised that if someone else had asked me, I'd have probably said yes.

As we walked back to the car, Small Sprog and I glimpsed one more firework, a stray from another, more distant display. It exploded into a huge golden ball which shone and sparkled like a thousand golden stars, and then we heard the bang of it. It looked like it should have had a noise he said. He is a firework expert now!

The fireworks were some of the most beautiful I have seen for a long time, I loved sharing them with my children, but all the time I was looking up at them, I couldn't help thinking that I would have liked to have shared them with someone else, who wasn't there.