Missing

Sculpture at University of Bristol
Botanic Garden, artist unknown.

My Daughters Blog is growing at quite a speed, she's getting followers every day, girls her age mostly, which I'm pleased about and she has all that excitement (do you remember what it was like?) every time she gets a new comment.

I did a deal with the devil  Ex Husband this Easter holidays. In order to be able to have my children during the Whitsun week - all of it- I had to forgo a week of this Easter holidays. It has been fine, I adapt to the time without them surprisingly well - or I think I do - and use it to get things done, start and finish (and that really is a revelation!) small projects and see friends. It is quite satisfying to have accomplished something visible during a non working week.

I have been just over a week without them now and today when I was tidying Tall Girls room I came across something she needed for school tomorrow. I text her asking if she really needs it (they are not home until Wednesday - see what I mean about the deal? It's a long time) She texts back that she does need it and I say I'll drop it round. It feels a slight inconvenience to travel in that direction, I still drive along the well-to-do tree lined streets thinking about other times and 'what ifs'.

I pull onto the drive and she comes to the door, my beautiful Tall Girl and it's then when I realise how much I have missed her and how much I need to hug her to me like a newborn child again. Now that she is fully grown she is as beautiful to hug as she was as a baby, more so perhaps and even more precious now because she is only on loan to me and the time is nearly up, fully grown and 16 this year, she is well on the way to being mine no longer.

We hug a lot just there on the threshold of the house that used to be mine, the one I cooked and cleaned in, the one I ran single-handed for so many years.

Small Sprog appears and sticks his head up the back of Tall Girls hoody. She remonstrates, while I hug him too and whisper how much I love him. I say good bye and see you Wednesday and I'm gone.