Vile but Festive Small Sprog post (not for the faint hearted!)

I picked the children up from the freezing bus stop at 3.30pm. Small Sprogs eyes had that look of mischief in them, the look that I recognised long ago almost from the day he was born. He's 'cooked up a plan' I thought as he grinned his way along the icy pavement toward me.

He'd only just managed to get his body in the car, and his sister was still struggling with bags when he pipes up "Jacob and I thought of a joke today!"
"Really" I say, not as a question you understand but more of an-Oh My Goodness do I really want to hear this?-sort of a way.
"Yes" he says, "do you want to hear it?"
I try to ward off the impending moment of disclosure by striking up a conversation about school.

Warning...if you are not up to the rude, vileness of 13 year old boys then read no further, he really is disgusting...

"Do you want to hear it?" he insists
"Not really" I state knowing full well that it will fall on deaf ears.
By this time we are home and through the door.
"Jingle my balls bells and I'll give you a white Christmas"! he shouts out and then runs off up the stairs.
"Eww" I shout up after him
"Jessica laughed her head off when I told her" he shouted down before disappearing into the bathroom.

"You told a girl?" I look at his sister who rolls he eyes and says something derogatory about men in general. She was in a fairly depressive mood what with mock exams, coursework and the cold weather and I did think, at that moment, that the evening could go either way.

I mean, he might be vile but at least he's festive!