There is a lot of laughter and running about noises upstairs. I give him five minutes and shout up "Are you ready yet?"
"Yes."
"Have you got your Pyjamas on?"
"No."
"Put them on then."
I give him another few minutes...
"I'm ready!" He calls down in a singsong voice.
"Have you had a wee?"
"No"
"Have a wee then!"
Are you getting bored yet? Well try doing it EVERY night of the week! By now I'm tired of shouting, so I go up to view the damage. Small Sprog is still running around in his birthday suit! All that he's wearing is the remains of hot chocolate around his mouth. All his clothes are in a heap on his bedroom floor.
"I thought you'd put on your PJ's" I realise I'm starting to sound a little strained!
"I've cleaned my teeth!" He says proudly.
Did I ask him to clean his teeth??
We do teeth again, he wees - "Keep the wee in the toilet!" I say for the hundredth time! He has a habit of not looking where he's "going" - and puts on his dressing gown. Then we snuggle up in 'the big bed' to read a quick story. "It has to be a quick story" I explain "Because you've taken so long to get ready." He doesn't complain. He has a plan up his sleeve!
We do the story and his inhaler and I breath a very quiet sigh of relief. The whole thing is quite exhausting. We snuggle up in his bed, I make Poalie talk (his polar bear has a very gruff voice!!) We say goodnight and I am just about to go downstairs when I realise Small Sprog is out of bed and sprinting to the loo. I do a few things upstairs and wait for him to finish. No sign of Small Sprog. It's getting late now so I go in to see what he's up to.
There he is in all his glory, sitting on the loo, swinging his legs, starkers except for one thing. On his face he is wearing a massive grin, but that's not the thing. The thing is on his head. On his head he is wearing Tall Girls shower cap!! It is blue and flowery! And at that moment she appears at the door. "Yuck! Mummy! He's wearing my shower cap while he's having a poo!" She wails!! Don't you just love family life? I placate her.
Eventually I settle him back down and that's it! I'm down stairs and about to enter blogging heaven when......
"Mum?"
"Yes" Threateningly!
"Can I have a drink of water?"
Now that is just the oldest trick in the book!
These are some bluebells from our garden last week.
This week they have faded somewhat, a little like myself!
That must have been a sight, naked with the shower cap!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Tall Girl too.
eeewwww! ;)
Tooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop lad! Glass of water was a little bit obvious, I agree - come on SS!I think Small Sprog is just testing you in order to calibrate his excuses for next week. He knows the score.
ReplyDeleteWhat an entertaining little chap he is.
Hey he did his teeth. That counts highly as he volunteered that task.
Don't be at him about not looking where he is 'going'. It's a tough business being a man trying to eek the last larks out of the day and having to aim as well. You girls just sit down and that's easy pee-sy (hee hee).
And you join us here tonight in Bristol where it's one each for TG and SS - how will the voting go tonight?
ReplyDeleteWe'll be back right after these messages from our sponsors but join us real soon for the next votes coming in!
An exit poll tonight is calling *America* for Tall Girl, that's America for Tall Girl according to MSNBC....can Small Sprog call on his delegate count across England in his heartland man-vote territories of the south west?
BS5 I was worried I had whittered on a bit on your blog tonight!! I don't need to worry now ;)
ReplyDeleteLOL (I need to know more abbreviations for laughs and giggles). Thanks for a touch of nostalgia--I remember these days, but I wasn't laughing at that time.
ReplyDeleteOur youngest wound up in bed with us every night until she was about 8, I think, the only way I could finally get her to sleep. That's why she has no younger brothers or sisters!
Aaah! That's sweet and brings back memories!
ReplyDeleteLOL!! Enjoy those evenings while you can SS will grow up fast, I miss the bedtime stories, just as much fun for me at the time! The light evenings don't help with the bedtime routine do they?
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha, it's exactly the same at my place.
ReplyDeleteIt drives me up the wall
mental potty
deranged mother with a scratchy head
It would drive me to drink if that didn't give me an extra headache.
I love the shower cap story, awwww. I so want to meet small sprog now, I think he would really get along with my wee boys.
And they don't come into bed, ever. Not even if the flat was on fire lol. One sleeps like a star fish, the other one constantly moves his legs like he is rowing a boat or something. Shudder!
That is why I am now awake at 4am and they are not even here. I am so used to them waking up that I still waken when they are away. Super grrr.
Don't you just adore little kids? You have to, otherwise you would not tolerate any of these things for one minute and feel continually hamstrung by your own kids. That's why people keep having more of them instead of less. That's the miracle of it.
ReplyDeleteSub', you should never worry about whitter or burble at my place; it is all most welcome!
ReplyDeletesuburbia, did the exchange happen at 10.35pm or possibly 10.50pm? even when we are drained down to the last gloppy bit around the plughole there is always a bright side.
ReplyDeletethat is what my mother used to say at 11 o'clock every night, anyway.
I always find toilet jokes and stories the funniest. I think it is something I get from my dad. Pooing with a shower cap on- brilliant!
ReplyDeleteWell I blame the parents. You wait till I'm in Hullabovia, you'll finds things roll on with a lick-spittle efficiency: the boys will be bedded by 7.30, and Hullaballovely and I will have sophisticated adult time.
ReplyDeleteMark my words...
That is rather like bed time here, these days! Aren't they naughty! My little ones say, "Well it's not dark so it can't be bed time!" In Japan it gets dark at six all year round!
ReplyDeleteOnce upon a time a million years ago, I used to go thru this with my kids too. Now THEY go thru it with theirs! So there is some justice in this world! But I still go thru ups-and-downs in the nite with my Chloe dog. I don't remember anyone ever telling me that once children and/or pets arrived, we women would never have another full nite's sleep. Oh well.
ReplyDeleteHe sounds like his mother's son!
ReplyDeleteSo glad the sort of madness that happens here, happens elsewhere too. As for boys and not watching where they wee - tell me about it! I'm forever saying 'look where you're weeing!' ... does he? Does he hell :-(
ReplyDeletex
I have had to read this to my Hubby and we are rolling with laughter. Our 2 little ones are close to the same age and we do this every night with them. We can't wait to see what excuse they use each night. I think that as we all get older these are a few of the fun memories that are going to make us smile when we think about the times when they were young! Now I have to go and see why my eldest is up for the third time.
ReplyDeleteROFL!!! Each generation comes up with the same excuses! My middle one saved up HUGE questions for last thing at night. Anything to put off the dreaded moment of settling down to sleep.
ReplyDelete