Almost daily diary!

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Monday, January 12, 2009

9 to 5

After Husband visited his sister last week, I received a call from my Brother in Law to arrange to meet with me tomorrow. It is hard to know what he will say to me, I presume he will be attempting to change my mind, but he has no chance of doing so, and then again, he doesn't know the whole story. I have always got on well with him, and he's pretty decent, but I am the 'outsider' as it were and I feel I my have a slight disadvantage. Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest! I'll see how it goes and let you know.



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18 comments:

  1. Anonymous12 January 2009 at 18:13

    Hugs for tomorrow {{{Suburbia}}}. There is no need to feel like an outsider, after all the relationship is between you and your husband. It's up to you how much or how little you choose to discuss.

    I'll be thinking of you, honey.

    xxxx

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  2. Kitty12 January 2009 at 19:05

    Glad you had a very happy day ... good luck for tomorrow. Listen well, and count to at least 5 before you speak. Will be thinking of you. x

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  3. Mean Mom12 January 2009 at 19:10

    Hmmm.... I would feel inclined to say that he shouldn't try to interfere and that no one knows what really goes on in a relationship, except the 2 people involved, but I suppose I shouldn't be speculating about what he has to say. You say that you've always got on with him, so, no doubt he has good intentions, anyway. Hope it all goes OK.

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  4. Akelamalu12 January 2009 at 19:16

    If you've made up your mind you should stick to it. x

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  5. Working Mum12 January 2009 at 20:29

    I agree with mean mom that he shouldn't interfere, but maybe it'll be a chance for you tell your side? Good luck.

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  6. Dori12 January 2009 at 20:35

    I remember for a while being overjoyed to just be able to escape to work. It was still chaos but a chaos that didn't have any of my emotions attached to it. Much different.

    As for the concerned BIL--he's really just an outsider himself, isn't he?

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  7. Maggie May12 January 2009 at 21:11

    It really is not up to him but if you feel you get on well with him, then just explain & stick to your guns. I don't really see why you should have to, you know.
    Obviously he will stick up for his brother, so I suppose you are at a disadvantage.
    Wouldn't a mediator be better? Someone who has no connections & who could give an unbiased opinion?
    Good luck with it anyway.

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  8. Tim Atkinson12 January 2009 at 21:11

    That's good advice from Kitty. When Sally's mum left (for another man) with her no more than three I could have said all sorts of things, but took the 'never explain, never complain' line. My ex-wife did the opposite (obviously, in an attempt to justify what she had done) and people naturally drea their own conclusions. Sometimes, less really is more. Hope all goes well tomorrow.

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  9. Lakeland Jo12 January 2009 at 21:12

    Wishing you well for the meeting, and for the rest of 2009.

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  10. Eternal Worrier12 January 2009 at 21:20

    Take it all slowly. Good luck tomorrow.

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  11. Rose12 January 2009 at 21:23

    Brother-in-law might be more understanding than you think. After all, he's an "outsider," too, isn't he? Hope all goes well.

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  12. Marvin -The Hollow Hound12 January 2009 at 22:33

    You know my thoughts are with you, oh I have just realised I am logged in as my Dog, sorry!

    Good luck for tomorrow, and I don't think you should consider yourself "the outsider", you are the hub!

    Letty x ;0)))))))

    Signing off as my Dog, how crazy does this blogging get?

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  13. Lindsay13 January 2009 at 08:54

    Hope you meeting goes well - a bit of a difficult situation I think. Perhaps the marriage guidance services may help?

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  14. XXYXX13 January 2009 at 09:07

    I hope today goes well.

    Remember you always have the option to say, "I'll think about that" or "that needs some reflection" some similar phrase to give yourself space and not be bounced into anything.

    If you are not happy with a family member adopting a mediation role, there are disinterested parties you could use, such as www.bristolfamilymediation.org.uk or a couples counsellor.

    Well done for reaching out for support.

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  15. Anonymous13 January 2009 at 16:28

    Perhaps as he is also an 'outsider' he may be trying to get your point of view - on the other hand - I wonder what his agenda could be - it's between you and your husband isn't it?

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  16. blogthatmama13 January 2009 at 16:56

    Sounds like tricky territory Suburbia, hope you negotiate it without any trouble.

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  17. cheshire wife13 January 2009 at 17:26

    I was going to wish you luck for the meeting but realise that I am a bit late. I suppose that it has now happened. I hope it went well.

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  18. Jennysmith13 January 2009 at 20:05

    Gosh Suburbia, really thinking of you. No, don't get talked round. Stick to your resolve. And i get the feeling you will. But thats the trouble when the out-laws get involved. Sod 'em and be true to yourself.

    xxxxx

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