It is Small Sprogs birthday today. I can't believe he's 9! We've been to casualty so many times, there were moments when I thought we may never get this far! He is having a party tomorrow so, tonight, we went out to eat. He was most embarrassed when some of the waiting staff sang a rap style 'Happy Birthday' to him at the top of their voices, to the whole packed restaurant! He may remember his 9th birthday for this!
It has been an emotional week with one thing and another (though it has also had some moments of pleasure). I have been dreading Small Sprogs birthday for sometime, however tonight was good and at least I'm half way through the two day event. Mum is coming for his party tomorrow. Although she seemed to take the news well when I visited last weekend, I have spoken to her on the phone this week and it has not been so good. She is constantly questioning my judgement and of course worrying. It may sound a little harsh but I really can't worry about her worrying about me at the moment. I just need her to be there, not judge or fuss. It will be a strain tomorrow when she comes. She has her 'sympathetic' voice on when we speak. I don't need sympathy right now, just some sort of normality. The thing that sent her over the edge was a call from Husband when I was out last Sunday. She really didn't need to have him go over the whole thing with her as I had done on the previous day. He didn't tell me he'd phoned her either, so I was not ready for the fall out when I spoke to her last Monday. Lets hope the whole thing stays under the surface until Small Sprog is safely asleep tomorrow night.
Just one last thing.... Saz from FFF sent me this after I commented on her last post 'Hope'. I liked it, so wanted to share, I hope you do to.....
"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all"
Emily Dickinson
It has been an emotional week with one thing and another (though it has also had some moments of pleasure). I have been dreading Small Sprogs birthday for sometime, however tonight was good and at least I'm half way through the two day event. Mum is coming for his party tomorrow. Although she seemed to take the news well when I visited last weekend, I have spoken to her on the phone this week and it has not been so good. She is constantly questioning my judgement and of course worrying. It may sound a little harsh but I really can't worry about her worrying about me at the moment. I just need her to be there, not judge or fuss. It will be a strain tomorrow when she comes. She has her 'sympathetic' voice on when we speak. I don't need sympathy right now, just some sort of normality. The thing that sent her over the edge was a call from Husband when I was out last Sunday. She really didn't need to have him go over the whole thing with her as I had done on the previous day. He didn't tell me he'd phoned her either, so I was not ready for the fall out when I spoke to her last Monday. Lets hope the whole thing stays under the surface until Small Sprog is safely asleep tomorrow night.
Just one last thing.... Saz from FFF sent me this after I commented on her last post 'Hope'. I liked it, so wanted to share, I hope you do to.....
"Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune--without the words,
And never stops at all"
Emily Dickinson
14 comments:
Happy Birthday to Small Sprog! Hope things go smoothly tomorrow. Will be thinking about you as we are going to a birthday party tomorrow.
oh Emily Dickinson is the best.
I feel for you so much, there for the grace of whatever god there is go I.
And all of us, looking in and commenting.
No worries about these people, Mum and all, just you do the thing which feels 'right' for you.
Happy Birthday Small Sprog, and hey, take a lesson from his book, he knows how to live for the moment, and as you know, I still am convinced he should be elected Prime Minister!, but live for today.
Tomorow is another country, and yesterday is gone.
I just adore this poem you quoted.
Take care, you know, even though I will never meet you, I am thinking of you.
Letty ;0D
How happy is the little stone,
that rolls along the road alone,
Its coat of elemental brown, a passing universe put upon?
That's as much Emily D as I can mis-quote off the top of my head and from school days...
I'm sorry I haven't been visiting as much as I could or should. I've been catching up with all your posts and you are handling it all very well. You write it all so well too. Sorry I am blethering on. What I mean to say is...well done you...I'm sure Small Sprog will handle things well. It's amazing what they pick up on. Honesty is the best policy I reckon.
Thinking of you. Big hugs. Hxx
Happy Birthday, Small Sprog!!
There's a rule in our household regarding singing wait staff at restaurants--never, ever let it happen! Even if if means free cake, don't tell them it's your birthday!
We come up with plenty of other ways to publicly embarrass each other.:D
Sorry about the Mum. You knew she couldn't make it without introducing drama, right?
hope it goes well sweetie and a very happy birthday to small sprog. i loved kids birthdays when they were little.
what is it about mothers? i can never have a conversation with ease with mine anymore. you need them and yet sometimes you don't.
thinkin of you sweetie. let us know how it went and good luck
xxxxxxx
Enjoy Small Sprog's party.
Maybe tell you're mum what you need and what you don't need from her just now.
As for ex-husband games, argh well, welcome to the ex's club!
Happy Birthday Small Sprog! Thanks for your comment Sub.
Happy Birthday to Small Sprog!!!
Happy Happy
and I promise not to sing!
Sorry about everything you're going through. I hope that Small Sprog and everyone else has/had a great time at his birthday party. Belated happy birthday to Small Sprog!
Happy Birthday to Small Sprog! Nine is such a great age.
By the time you read this, the party will be over--I hope everything went smoothly and Small Sprog had a wonderful party. No, you can't worry about your mother's worrying about you--just take care of yourself. The Emily Dickinson poem is one of my favorites; kudos to Saz for sending it to you. Remember the words whenever things seem too much.
It'll be a difficult journey, with plenty of people not understanding and putting obstacles in your path, but I hope you'll make it through to the other end and happier times.
a shame hubby had to do that..that make shim looks small and a little sad actually...he's hurting?!
Mum's well we all can't but help have a small tinge of judgement in the voices..you wont have it there yet? but l do hear it sometimes in mine, I daughter wafts out of the room..she's disappointed is all..she just wants you to be happy..and l guess that probably means, traditionally, married for 50 yrs to same fella...an ideal but not realistic..
l'm sure you just counted to 50 and breathed Suburbia!!
Hang on in there!
And i didn't actually rummage through the rubbish! Just gave it a cursory glance. Just long enough to see the Daily Mail and the letter from the debt collectors and the final demand and ...
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