Monday, January 12, 2009
9 to 5
After Husband visited his sister last week, I received a call from my Brother in Law to arrange to meet with me tomorrow. It is hard to know what he will say to me, I presume he will be attempting to change my mind, but he has no chance of doing so, and then again, he doesn't know the whole story. I have always got on well with him, and he's pretty decent, but I am the 'outsider' as it were and I feel I my have a slight disadvantage. Anyway, I just had to get that off my chest! I'll see how it goes and let you know.
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18 comments:
Hugs for tomorrow {{{Suburbia}}}. There is no need to feel like an outsider, after all the relationship is between you and your husband. It's up to you how much or how little you choose to discuss.
I'll be thinking of you, honey.
xxxx
Glad you had a very happy day ... good luck for tomorrow. Listen well, and count to at least 5 before you speak. Will be thinking of you. x
Hmmm.... I would feel inclined to say that he shouldn't try to interfere and that no one knows what really goes on in a relationship, except the 2 people involved, but I suppose I shouldn't be speculating about what he has to say. You say that you've always got on with him, so, no doubt he has good intentions, anyway. Hope it all goes OK.
If you've made up your mind you should stick to it. x
I agree with mean mom that he shouldn't interfere, but maybe it'll be a chance for you tell your side? Good luck.
I remember for a while being overjoyed to just be able to escape to work. It was still chaos but a chaos that didn't have any of my emotions attached to it. Much different.
As for the concerned BIL--he's really just an outsider himself, isn't he?
It really is not up to him but if you feel you get on well with him, then just explain & stick to your guns. I don't really see why you should have to, you know.
Obviously he will stick up for his brother, so I suppose you are at a disadvantage.
Wouldn't a mediator be better? Someone who has no connections & who could give an unbiased opinion?
Good luck with it anyway.
That's good advice from Kitty. When Sally's mum left (for another man) with her no more than three I could have said all sorts of things, but took the 'never explain, never complain' line. My ex-wife did the opposite (obviously, in an attempt to justify what she had done) and people naturally drea their own conclusions. Sometimes, less really is more. Hope all goes well tomorrow.
Wishing you well for the meeting, and for the rest of 2009.
Take it all slowly. Good luck tomorrow.
Brother-in-law might be more understanding than you think. After all, he's an "outsider," too, isn't he? Hope all goes well.
You know my thoughts are with you, oh I have just realised I am logged in as my Dog, sorry!
Good luck for tomorrow, and I don't think you should consider yourself "the outsider", you are the hub!
Letty x ;0)))))))
Signing off as my Dog, how crazy does this blogging get?
Hope you meeting goes well - a bit of a difficult situation I think. Perhaps the marriage guidance services may help?
I hope today goes well.
Remember you always have the option to say, "I'll think about that" or "that needs some reflection" some similar phrase to give yourself space and not be bounced into anything.
If you are not happy with a family member adopting a mediation role, there are disinterested parties you could use, such as www.bristolfamilymediation.org.uk or a couples counsellor.
Well done for reaching out for support.
Perhaps as he is also an 'outsider' he may be trying to get your point of view - on the other hand - I wonder what his agenda could be - it's between you and your husband isn't it?
Sounds like tricky territory Suburbia, hope you negotiate it without any trouble.
I was going to wish you luck for the meeting but realise that I am a bit late. I suppose that it has now happened. I hope it went well.
Gosh Suburbia, really thinking of you. No, don't get talked round. Stick to your resolve. And i get the feeling you will. But thats the trouble when the out-laws get involved. Sod 'em and be true to yourself.
xxxxx
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