Almost daily diary!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

I'm still here!

We had to dress up at work today. I'm not keen on dressinng up, especially for work. It just seems to be another task to do in what seem to be enlessly busy weeks. Goodness me I sound a bit of a Scrooge, bah humbug, but I guess you will know what I mean? Busy term, loads of changes, hanging on in there through various domestic traumas and then having to think of a costume, assemble it and, wear it to work. Along with Small Sprog too obviously, who also needed a costume, as I work at his school.

So when I finished work today at lunchtime, I held my breath all the way home because the car was running on empty, and I had no wish to stop at the petrol station as a witch, crimped hair and all.

I pulled up outside my lovely new house, which is in a relatively quiet side road, and sat in the car for a while as I texted from my phone. I was so engrossed, that I didn't notice anyone approach until there was a knock on the car window. A very suspicious looking character was speaking to me through the glass, he looked a little disheveled and not all his features seemed in the right place. I felt a little nervous. I realised that I couldn't hear him properly through the closed window and was about to open the car door to talk to him when I thought better of it and opened the window slightly instead whilst pressing the button to automatically lock all the car doors at the same time.
"Can you tell me where Churchill Road is?" He asked pleasantly enough. I thought about it, I am new to this area and wasn't entirely sure but I think I sent him in the right direction.

As I watched him walk off down the street, I silently chastised myself for judging him by his appearance. He was harmless and had been very polite.

It wasn't until I caught a glimpse of myself in the rear view mirror that I realised it ought to have been him who was a little scared. I bet he didn't expect to ask a witch for directions when he got out of bed this morning!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Friday night is disco night!

It was Small Sprogs school disco this evening. He loves the school disco. At school though, in his class, he doesn't have many friends. Most of the boys are very much 'Alpha Males', children with older brothers, from male orientated families. Small Sprog has a big sister, enjoys girls company and hates football. Sometimes I feel sorry for him, I wish he had a good friend, but then I am a girl, looking at the whole thing in a girly sort of way!

So on the way to school this morning I asked him if he was looking forward to going.
'Yes' he smiled
'Are any of your friends going?' I asked
'Think so' he replied
Now, as a girl, I would have already spoken to all my friends about what we were all wearing and where we were going to meet up. He had obviously not had any of those conversations, I worried about him being there without a friend.
'What are you going to do there?' I asked, wanting reassurance from him in a way, that he was going to be alright.
'Gonna have a larf' he replied nonchalantly!
Of course he was! What on earth was I thinking?!

Thursday, March 18, 2010

This way up

I have landed on my feet. I am very, very lucky. What an amazing week I have had here in my new home and new life? Having moved last Friday, a very smooth move, by Saturday the place looked fairly straight and I felt very 'at home'. The children seem settled and Small Sprog is sleeping better (touch wood) I couldn't be more pleased.

Last weekend was full of visitors, lots of happy people bearing flowers, gifts and cards, I couldn't believe how lovely it all was, my friends, in my home. Almost too many blessings to count. Though I did count them, am still counting. . .

It didn't stop there either. On Monday my Lovely Mans parents came down and bought us a delicious lunch. Then today I met fellow blogger Bobo, who also bought me lunch! (Lunch is such a lovely word, don't you think? It sort of sounds yummy, or perhaps I just love eating?!) It was fab to meet him, isn't it brilliant the way we can mix our virtual and non virtual worlds sometimes? (Thanks Bobo and thanks to Hulla too for my amazing gift. Hope to see you one day too)

Even more fabulous things are planned for the weekend. My Man and I are away for two nights, somewhere special and then dropping into see his lovely family on the way home, staying overnight there too to make a really long weekend. How amazing is that?

Sometimes life can be a huge pain in the bum, and yet at other times, well it just keeps getting better. My mantra, the thing I have learnt over the last two years, is to live for the moment and make the most of every day. I remind myself of this often, for I have spent a long time living in the past and the here and now were never a thing I considered often. So if you are reading this and having a 'pain in the bum' sort of a time, take heart for nothing lasts forever. Soon good times will come again, but they won't last forever either, so make each minute count. It's a great life and right now, I intend to live it.

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

In love with my Kitchen

'I love meatballs Mummy' says Tall Girl, shovelling down her supper last night. 'I think we should have them on the menu every week'
'Me too' splutters Small Sprog, through another mouthful.
I smile to myself. At last, a meal they agree on, something they both like, no 'Jack Sprat', for they never agree on a meal, satisfying one often leads to howls of revulsion from the other!

I enjoyed making the meal too, perhaps it showed in the eating. Stirring the rich tomatoey sauce slowly on the stove, chopping onions, crushing juicy garlic, watching it bubble in the pan. I can't remember enjoying cooking a meal that much for a long time, in my kitchen, my own space.

We all eat with glee, candles lit, music playing. The new kitchen table, a John Lewis indulgence, laid with my favourite bright mats. A pot of bright 'tet-a-tet' daffodils in the centre.

After the children have gone upstairs, after clearing up, I replace the lit candle with my favourite glass fruit bowl, fold the napkins, take stock. I flick the light switch, smile at the effect of the homely glow, the arrangement, my things, the way I like them, the atmosphere, the calm.
I take a deep breath, count my considerable blessings, turn out the light once more and head to bed. How strange it is to be here, after so long, strange but very, very good indeed.

Friday, March 12, 2010

2 Years old!

I have missed my birthday! 2 years of blogging on 3rd March. I can't believe it's been that long and, I know it sounds strange, those two years have changed my world.

I love that so many of my bloggy friends that I made during that first few months are still blogging too. I love being part of this community. Only you lot will understand that!

See you all when I am either 'borrowing' an Internet connection, or have my own again.

Meanwhile have a virtual glass of bubbly. I have 2 things to celebrate, 2 years here, and a new home with a whole new future ahead. You have to help me drink to that surely?!

Thursday, March 11, 2010


Tonight is the last night I will spend in this house. After all the waiting it seems very strange, almost unreal. I have been here 9 years, Small Sprog was less than 18 months old when we moved in. He learnt to walk in the back garden, both children learnt to ride their bikes here, they have both started school from here, they have celebrated many birthdays and Christmases here too, they have grown. So many milestones, So many memories. Yet for the children, to move house will be even more strange. Tomorrow I leave for good, but they will continue to come back here to their 'home', every time they see their Dad. I hope they can deal with that. I am glad that I don't have too.

I would never have guessed, when I moved in, that I would move out under these circumstances, alone with my children. It is a strange life. Sometimes, I think, it is better not to know what the future holds.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

This might be the last time....

All packed now and waiting to move on, apart from last minute things; favourite bedtime toys, hair straighteners (TG's) and the Wii! It is over 15 years since I lived alone and then I was childless.The responsibility of being a single parent feels very daunting. Gosh, I never thought I'd be one.

This morning, when I went into Tall Girls room, she suddenly said 'Mummy, I think we should all have baths on our first night in our new house (this is the girl that never used to like washing!), then we can put on or PJ's, and snuggle under a blanket to watch TV and eat pizza'

'What a fab idea' I replied and smiled to myself, this was how she wanted to celebrate, she is very happy to be moving, I hope it lives up to her expectations. It did indeed sound a lovely way to spend our first evening there together, if I can just tear myself away from the gentle murmuring of the boxes... 'Unpack me' they will call. I just hope I can resist the temptation to get straight as soon as possible.

PS.The good news is I may have an internet connection by middle of next week. Yay!

Monday, March 08, 2010

Not there quite yet but soon.

Sorry I'm not visiting much at the moment. It has been a manic few days. I have spent the weekend moving furniture from various places, Mums mostly, and then beds from 2 different friends who have kindly donated to my cause, loads of stashed goodies from BS5 and elsewhere, finishing off with picking up 2 new mattresses. This coming Friday I have a removal company booked to move me out of suburbia. Only 3 more days to spend here, after nearly 9 years of being in this house. I never really liked it when we moved in, I will not mind shutting the door for the last time.

I have spent all day here alone boxing things up. I forgot how much you can collect over the years. It should be mandatory to move every year or so, just so you have a good clear out! It has been a happy but exhausting day, and I have worked flat out. It feels so good to pack up my favourite things and imagine them in a new home. I feel as though I should be sad, but I can't muster any other emotion but gladness.

Oh, apart from annoyance that I can't get an Internet connection to my new home for 3 or 4 weeks. I'll miss you!

Friday, March 05, 2010

Got my keys. OMG. I'm scared.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010


It has been a busy week, with lots to sort out, boxes to pack and vans to book. There are hiccups, isn't moving one of the top ten stressful things to do, along with divorce I believe? I hope to get my keys on Friday, but as yet, my employer has not sent back the reference for me, another 2 days before they can tick a couple of boxes and fax it back can you believe? Perhaps I should go to work today and twiddle my thumbs for a while!!

Anyway, Small Sprog is excited about having a larger bedroom when we move. He has a dream of setting up his Scalextrics his new room, so that the track runs under his bed. He has talked about this a lot, he has 'boy genes' for moving house, Tall Girl is more interested in matching bedding and sparkly cushions!

Husband has other thoughts about the racetrack. He wants to keep it here for Small Sprog, to set up in the attic room when I have gone. I mentioned the issue to Small Sprog this morning.
'I want to have it in both houses' he said.
Husband had obviously chatted to Small Sprog about it too.
'You can move it between both houses if you like' I replied .'Seeing as we have a van though, where do you want to have it first?'
He thought long and hard. I know he wants it in his new home, he has talked about it a lot. I could see a 'thinking frown' on his face.
'I'll leave it here for a while' he said after careful consideration 'So then Daddy will have something to look forward to'

I could have cried. He is 10, born thoughtful and kind. In all of this upheaval, he is thinking about other peoples feelings. What more could I ask for?

(Mind you, these thoughts do not count when doing battle with ones sister!!)