Almost daily diary!

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Nearly 3 years on; normal but different

Late Friday afternoon and I pull onto the familiar drive, the gravel crunching under the tyres. The place looks much the same as it always was, if not just a little more jaded. As the front door opened a wonderful smell of garlic wafted out.
"Daddy says would you like a cup of tea mummy" Small sprog shouts from the kitchen.
How did we get to this point? I walk in.

Ex Husband is cooking risotto, juggling ingredients, smiling, enjoying the task. We talk, the children join in, he makes me a cup of tea, well mostly makes it; I reach into the fridge for the milk. The handle feels looser, more fragile and the inside is full of things that I have not bought and stored away, things have changed.
"Would you like to eat with us?" He says after a while
"I'm out with my girl friends at 8pm" I say "but it smells delicious, I'd love just a little"

He sets me a place at the table. Not 'my' place, he sits there now; no it is his old place, the one furthest from the kitchen that I sit at. The seat which, at the time, was his because he had very little to do with preparing meals and fetching things from the kitchen back then.

We sit down to eat. I worry momentarily that the children will find it unsettling but that didn't seem to be the case. It was a wonderful moment. Strange, very strange, like moving into an alternative universe, one that could have been, had things been different. It was happy and easy and unbelievably good. We had made it, to this place that I had hoped for. Normal but different.

After eating he clears the dishes while I chat to our children about their day at school. I found myself thinking how the tables have turned; things have changed and I quietly muse on the massive cost of getting here.

As I leave I offer to help him clear up, old habits die hard. He waves his hand dismissively saying "It really doesn't matter"

And as I go I know how important it was to say those words, for me to hear them too. All that time, all those days; it really never did matter...


Elizabeth said...

Ths has been a long journey --but you BOTH seem happier now.
Tis is thrilling news.

Anonymous said...

*sigh* Lovely post Sub. I feel like I've been with you on your journey which I think you started not long after me. One of my favourite ever blog posts by anyone was yours, where I think you were on holiday and you watched an old couple sitting together. Hope it's all turned out out for you? X

Suburbia said...

Thank you Elizabeth, funny how things turn out.

Dicky, It has turned out better than expected thank you, perhaps one day I will blog about it!

Maggie May said...

You've come a long way and arrived at a wonderful place knowing you can share a meal with your ex and the children. Brilliant. I'm sure the youngsters will be very much more settled by it.
Maggie X

Nuts in May.

Furtheron said...

You're very lucky to be where you are...

My brother can still barely face being in the same county as his ex unfortunately. Heaven knows how they will cope if one of their boys gets married ... which could be soon actually given one of them is living with his long term girlfriend.

I think we'll need to call in the UN peace keepers... hmm maybe not, they'll probably eat all the cake

Rose said...

You both have certainly come a long way; the best part is that you both seem so much happier now. The children are very lucky to have two parents who care about them and can get along with each other.

Looking for Blue Sky said...

It would be wonderful if it could work out this way for everyone, and especially for the children. I am polite to my ex, but that is all I manage xx

Carol said...

Wow!! I never thought that you would get to this point but I'm so glad that you have :-)

C x

nick said...

Glad to see things have finally turned the corner and after all the turmoil of the divorce you're establishing more cordial relations again. A massive cost indeed, but things seem to be coming right at last.

Suburbia said...

Thanks everyone :-)