So how was your Christmas?
Mine started early with a text from Tall Girl ( she was only in the next room) asking me to remove the cat from her pillow. As I entered the room, there she was, sitting bolt upright in bed eyes, like saucers staring at the cat. He was smiling (I know it was a smile because you could sense it, there was a definite upturn to the corners of his mouth) his little body curled up in a tight ball the middle of her pillow which, as far as he was concerned, was his rightful place. "When I rolled over mummy, I reached out my hand and felt his boney leg, and I thought Santa had left me a roast chicken!"
"Well, that would have been an original gift" I mused "but as it's only 1.30 in the morning do you think we could sleep now?"
I unceremoniously gathered the cat up and plonked him on her feet instead, he was a tad hurmphy but at that time in the morning what did he expect, Christmas cheer?!
Christmas eve with mum and Christmas day at home were full of fun and food and lovely things. then Ex husband turned up at 11am on Boxing Day to take the children home with him for his 'turn'.
Festive Ex was not. Small Sprog was as excited as he had been the previous days and asked dad to play various games but to no avail. Apparently Ex had had a busy morning and did not feel like playing, I was wondering if he was hung over but said nothing. Eventually Small Sprog played without daddy.
I so wanted to keep my children and play for days on end, I didn't want it to end, I wanted to carry on inside the bubble we had built for ourselves since school had finished; it was a happy and carefree bubble full of colour and light, but it wasn't to be.
And as I watched Ex and listened to him talking to Tall Girl, I remembered how everything was always about him, always.
We had a lucky escape.