Almost daily diary!

Friday, February 12, 2010

One step forwards and seven back.

I have had the worst week in ages this last seven days. Wednesday was a horrible day and I need to write about that soon, but after having a week to ten days of mental turmoil (plus the last year or so!) about whether I can afford to move out and rent a house for the three of us, I really thought it was all over. I made the decision, wise or not, to live for the moment. Mental health was more important than long term financial security.

So yesterday I took the children to a second viewing of a lovely house. They instantly liked it as had I on first inspection. It was cheaper than the other good one we had seen the week before. So, after weeks of sleepless nights, I took the plunge. Said yes, wrote the check and took the form away with me to fill in for references etc.

Apparently there was someone else having a second viewing today. The agent told me if I could get the form back to them first thing in the morning, they could cancel all the other viewings and the house would be mine subject to references. The children and I spent the evening at home (without husband) chatting excitedly about it all. There seemed no doubt that the house would be ours and that we could move in in a few weeks. All I needed to do was to fill in the form and post it into the agent before work this morning, which I duly did.

This afternoon I had a call. The other viewing had taken place, so both my 'profile' and the other family's profile were put to the landlord to choose which tenant he wanted. Bear in mind I could pay a substantial amount of rent up front.

But hey, as a landlord who would you prefer? A married couple with 2 children or a single mum. It wasn't really a surprise, an easy decision for him I think. Who would want a single mother in their property with two children when a nuclear family is so much more 'reliable'?

I'm sure you can tell I am feeling very raw. I am sobbing as I write. Poor Small Sprog is heart broken too and Tall Girl is swimming and doesn't know yet. I don't want to tell her, she will be devastated too. That's how much we need to get out of here, there really does seem to be no end, even when I try to force the issue.

Everything happens for a reason they say. I really wish I could see the reason behind this one. . .

26 comments:

dragondays said...

Horrible for you - shit and shit and shit.
BUT - there will be other houses which you will love and with a landlord who will understand. AND it is good that the children are happy to move - imagine if they refused?
Keep in touch with the agent/landlord - maybe the others will change their mind ... it has happened.

Jennysmith said...

Heartbreaking isn't it. I feel for you, Sub. This is how we felt when we lost our house. I really hope you have a better weekend anyway.

xxx

Working Mum said...

How awful. After you'd set your hearts on it. I know it's small comfort, but things do happen for a reason and you will find another place.

I was heartbroken when our house sale fell through and so we lost the house we were buying (along with about £1500!), but now we live in a bigger house in a better area and I'm glad we lost the other. Just hang in there.

Steve said...

Acquiring a place to live is traumatic at the best of times even without major pressure building up behind you. Hard though it is to accept this house simply wasn't for you. That means another one definitely is. And you will find it. Very, very soon. Don't give up hope.

Maggie May said...

Aw....Sub I am so sorry.
I do wish, though, that you could hang out till the settlement, but obviously you can't. Only you three know how awful it is to have to all live together with that wedge between you & husband.
I am sure there will be other properties available. Also do stay in touch with the agent because there is always a chance that the lease will fall through from that family........
Keep trekking & something will show up. Just wait & see.

Nuts in May

Caring Kid said...

Maybe it's just as well. S/he doesn't sound like a very nice person to rent from. Something will be just around the corner.

Expat mum said...

Sorry - was using the wrong Gmail account!

Reasons said...

Oh how bloody annoying!

I know how hard this must be for you but you are right, this will be for a reason and something will work out. That particular landlord probably best avoided by the sound of it, could have been trouble down the line if he wasn't prepared to honour first offer without prejudice.

Wish I could do more to help.

Elizabeth said...

poor you
this is horribly disappointing
but I can't wait for you to live apart from your husband.
Have as good a weekend as possible under the circumstances.
HUGS

Fab, feisty and fifty... said...

its not easy moving, viewing etc...think on this l have moved 29 times in 51 years, twice in the last two years....so babe, chest out, chin out, breathe deep, pick up your keys and go get the friday loacl paper and tomorrow go see some, and sunday and find the one for you....and it may fall through, but you CANNOT get off this ride...


D it, breathe and do it!! You CAN...........

luv saz x

Hullaballoo said...

So sorry to hear that, it really isn't fair. xxxx

nick said...

The property market can be a really dispiriting cut-throat situation. Landlords and sellers can pick and choose who they want to do business with and indulge their prejudices. Being knocked back like that must be bitterly disappointing but as Dragondays says there will be other places and sooner or later something will work out. You just have to be persistent (I know, there's far too many demands on your persistence already....)

who is the eternal worrier? said...

We are sitting in bed reading your post (Lou B and I) and feel so sad for you and the children. The whole renting / landlord / estate agent thing makes me so angry. Im sure it will work out though. Just try to get through this bit. Try to get a house then move. The kids will settle down and then you can get on with a new start. Your so close dont give up now...xx

Linda said...

Oh Sub, it won't always be this way♥ I remember when my marriage of 20 years ended people would tell me it was for a reason, and how right they were. You will find the perfect house for Sprog and Tall girl. I'm so relieved that you have decided to move, as you say your mental health is much more important. Now you have been through the renting process it will be a doddle for you next time. Keep smiling lovely lady♥

Kitty said...

Well you know I've been there. That place wasn't the right one for you - I know that sounds trite, but telling myself that was the only way I could stay sane when it was happening to me.

You will find somewhere - really you will. Please don't lose heart - keep looking. Keep hoping. x

Lakeland Jo said...

as you say-everything is for a reason however hard it seem to fathom at the time. Something better will be out there for all you. Keep the faith and keep focussing on what you want- it will come to you X

Jean said...

It's so upsetting when you've set your heart on something, especially as it represents your escape from purgatory.

This may sound flippant and I don't mean to be cruel, but it's only bricks and mortar and it's only a stepping stone to a new and better life. Another one will turn up.

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Yes...I would keep in touch in case the other family pull out. When we were looking for houses - we'd "lose" one only for the deal to fall through. Can you ask them why the other viewing happened when you were promised that it wouldn't...maybe you can get them on that point. A "contract" is also termed as a verbal contract so they have broken that.

Maybe a better house will turn up and you will be glad that you didn't get this one ultimately.

Good luck and big hugs. Hadriana xx

Furtheron said...

That is horrible.

And as you say in times like this you never see the reason. However this will pass as they say and you will move on.

Good luck

Rose said...

How awful, Suburbia! I understand how disappointed you must be. I wish I could offer you a shoulder to cry on. But perhaps there will be a better place you'll find soon that you will like even more. Keep looking and hang in there!

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

Dear Suburbia,

I am so so sorry this has happened, I am late with my blog catching up, as I have been away on holiday.

Not long back and I saw your comment on my blog just now.

I have a lot to catch up with on your blog, however, hold on, something better will turn up.

Once back in the mists of time, just before we were married, we were looking at places to rent, and I thought we had found the most perfect place, but, like you, we were rejected. However, it got better, because a few weeks later, something even better turned up, and was ours..........

Keep hanging on in there, it will work out ok, I promise you.

It wasn't meant to be this time, and there is a reason, because something better is awaiting you and your children, just around the corner.

Take it, from one who knows.

love and much light, Letty xxxxx

(sorry just realised I am signed in as my dog)but you know who I am)

xxxx

Chic Mama said...

Oh I'm so sorry.....I have a real problem being a 'single mother' anyway and there is no doubt there is prejudice against single mothers.
With children they REALLY get their hopes up as well and I imagine the blow was so so hard for them.
Maybe we should all run away to Timbuktoo!!
Thinking of you and hope this week brings better news. xx

French Fancy said...

No, sweetie, this house wasn't meant to be for you - yours is any time soon. In a couple of months you will look back and be glad you've got this other house - the one you've not seen yet.

x

Suburbia said...

Thanks to all of you, your support means so much, as always. I have trawled all the estate agents today but there is nothing in the right area. I guess it's a waiting game. I am so impatient, it's a bit of a learning curve.

lakeviewer said...

So sorry about your house hunting episode. Yes, things do seem unfair. But, in the big scheme of things, this is just small potato. Don't fret the small stuff.

Ladybird World Mother said...

Am reading your posts backwards... and now have read this.. You poor poor darling. Now listen... have been in situation a little like yours. A House, a really lovely house, will come. That one you had? It wasnt the right one. YOUR house is waiting for you to find it. And when you move in, and make friends and love the house to pieces... then you will be so grateful that it is THAT house, and not any other one. Hugs. All will be well. xxx