Almost daily diary!

Friday, February 05, 2010

To Let

Funny how things move on. I went to look at a house last night to rent. All of a sudden it seems possible (unless you look at the finances that is)

I have found myself looking about me recently thinking about what I must remember to take, wondering what I shall be allowed to take. The property that I looked at was unfurnished, I will need to take stuff, we have enough here, but I wonder if he'll let me, physically I mean. It's not going to be pretty is it, the day when I take furniture out of this house?

The house was almost perfect for us really, as rented houses go, but as it is the first I've looked at it felt wrong to commit. Also I have to steel myself until 22nd February, when we have our next mediation session though, as you know, I don't have much hope of that working.

So, I am preparing myself, mentally I guess, for a move of some sort. Over the last year I feel I have lost the ability to organise, the stuffing has been knocked out of me a little, I am not the competent woman I used to be, not inside. The thought of organising services, bills, mortgage or rent repayments single handed seems very scary from here. I used to do it. I used to own my own house and live there by myself, it seemed easy, once. I feel I have 'lost the knack'.

Tomorrow I am off to see another property to let. At least I will have more than one to compare then.

PS. Just realised this is my 450th post!

Happy Weekend to you, whatever you're doing.


17 comments:

Working Mum said...

You will manage all that stuff - it's just a question of confidence. Once you start organising the move, you will find it comes flooding back.

Maybe you could have a plan up your sleeve re furniture - ask for what you want to take and if he says no, then say you'll include its value in the settlement and buy yourself some new stuff with the proceeds and start afresh!

Jean said...

The knack will come back pretty quickly when you haven't got him in your face all the time, stripping you of your self esteem. Go for it. If you make a few mistakes, who cares? Nobody's perfect.

Steve said...

Putting things slowly into action, beginning to get out and do things, to speculate and calculate... little by little these will all build your confidence and, better still, reveal a new world of possibility and opportunity...!

BS5 Blogger said...

450 is cool.....and of course you have the knack and the inner ability x

ewix said...

Sometimes the first thing you look at is the right one
but you probably should check out others.
Thinking of you.

Elizabeth said...

Sometimes the first thing you look at is the right one
but you probably should check out others.
Thinking of you.

Maggie May said...

Congratulations on your 450th Post.
Hope you manage to find something that you like and can afford.

Nuts in May

the eternal worrier said...

I so know where you’re at. Good luck and keep smiling. x

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

get your self a couple of lovely books and pens...all girlie and glitzy and make lists, to do, to buy, to bring, to leave, to browse.etc....its a challenge and an adventure...the rest of your life.....

xoxoxox

Chic Mama said...

I feel excitement for you, understand exactly what you mean though...I feel daunted at all I have to face at times. I also feel empowered too, I get a kick out of things being in my name!! Do you understand what I mean? ;0) xxx

French Fancy said...

Yes, you have lost a bit of confidence in your coping skills but I am sure that is only temporary. You can do this, you know - you are a strong and capable woman and you can do anything.

As for furniture - maybe have a friend over to help you sort out what to take. That could nip in the bud any 'temperament' from a certain quarter. Alternatively, why not a furnished place - although I guess they are more expensive. Anyway it will be nice for the children to have familiar things around them.

good luck
x

gaelikaa said...

Good luck with the move...

Linda said...

I know it feels very daunting and overwhelming (been there done that) but you will be amazed how quickly you will be in control again and on the road to happiness again♥

Wow 450 posts well done Sub. xoxo

nick said...

As everyone's saying, I'm sure you're very capable and you'll soon get the hang of running a place on your own. You've just been intimidated by husband. As for whether this place is suitable, you should make a little checklist of the things it should have and then see if it measures up.

Furtheron said...

Happy 450th post.

Again I remember looking on my brother as he moved out during his breakup - he struggled with all this but was quickly in his stride once he moved on.

Carol said...

You, my dear, are going to be fine!! Let me put it this way....you have managed to put up with husband and his antics for the last, what? year?, compaired to that....starting again on your own is going to be a doddle!! I KNOW you can do it...and in next to no time...you'll KNOW you can do it too!!

C x

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

You do too have all the strength and organization and grace to make it through this and far beyond. I know that. I know it like I know the sun is shining on this earth today.

You will be better than alright. After the first few hard hours... days... weeks... holidays... it will be such a release, and you will be so much more than fine.

~HUGE HUGS~


Scarlett & Viaggiatore