Almost daily diary!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

I've done it!

Oh my goodness, I have done it! I have put a holding deposit on a house for the three of us.

Now I know I've done this before, about 2 weeks ago, and the landlord refused us in favour of a 2.4 family unit. I was upset then, it seemed that I was never meant to escape and I have to say I still liked that house better. However we have kept looking over the last 10 days or so, and after much mind boggling confusedness, sometimes seeing several properties daily, I realised I needed to make a decision.

The children fell in love with a fairly new house in a very built up area. I have a dream to be surrounded by more greenery and trees. There were 2 rented houses, one in each category. Choosing between them was hard.

Last Friday night I felt as though I was loosing my mind and couldn't think straight. My wonderful S.O. took me to the country and his family for the weekend. It was such a relief not to think for a few days and when I returned, things seemed not so bad but I also knew I could no longer wait for the perfect house. I was lucky to have a couple of options and so I needed to decide.

Tuesday night I spent quite a while on the phone to my favourite and very sensible friend. I had tried talking it through with Mum, but she was hopeless! Not her fault, just too close to the situation I guess. Anyway, my wonderful friend listened, reflected back to me and after a while I realised which move was best, sometimes just verbalising the whole thing brings it all into perspective. 'If the children are happy, you will be too' she said, very wisely. I knew she was right.

So yesterday morning I put down a holding deposit on the childrens favourite house and, subject to references (because the landlady has agreed to have a single mum as a tenant already) I should have keys a week tomorrow.

Gosh, I am scared! But very excited too, just keeping a lid on that until my references have cleared and then, well, a whole new way of living I hope!

33 comments:

French Fancy said...

(dances round room on your behalf)

I am so pleased - this is the first step to a Better Life Ahead (or BLA for short). Your SO sounds lovely and all in all I think you can be rightly optimistic about the future.

Reasons said...

I am so pleased! I do hope it all works out. I think your friend is so right. You will be OK if the kids are OK. Like you I'd much rather be somewhere greener but there will be time enough for that when they've flown the nest. Things move on Sub, they really do, and you have a bright future ahead for you , I can just feel it. You are such a wonderful role model to your children and so strong and honest.

McBöbø said...

That's brilliant news Suburbia. A secure base for you and your kids will be so important in settling all of you, separating you from your problems (aka ex husband) and making you more resilient, more capable, more relaxed, and generally more you.

Congratulations!

The Dotterel said...

Excellent! Hope it'll be a happy home for you all.

the eternal worrier said...

Congrats Sub. Hope it all goes well. Better that it’s a Landlady anyway (maternal instinct and all that). Even better that the kids have chosen and its good thinking to let them get involved (as they are because they have to move too). It’s a huge step but it’s been coming for a while now. xx

Hullaballoo said...

Fabulous news Sub, want to give you a huge hug. Well done you! xxx

Ladybird World Mother said...

Congratulations!! Sounds wonderful... children love it... and a new start for you all. Well done! And how good to have a friend who 'reflects back' to you all the things you said... I must remember to do more of that. Sometimes that's just what we need. In fact, all the time that's what we need... xx

Maggie May said...

Wow...... that is EXCELLENT news. No such thing as a perfect house. glad you didn'r waste time searching.
Now you have made a definite decision, the rest will follow. You will see. Maggie X

Nuts in May

Carol said...

I couldn't be more happy for you Sub!! That is fantastic news and I will be keeping everything crossed till all your references come through!!

*goes off grinning*

C x

gaelikaa said...

Well done. Happy for you.

Lakeland Jo said...

everything crossed for a good outcome

MissKris said...

I'll be praying everything works out for the best. Good luck!

Steve said...

That's wonderful news - a big step towards a much happier life for you and the kids. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you!

Working Mum said...

Good luck! I hope it all goes through smoothly for you and that you have a home for you and your children soon.

Fab, feisty and fifty... said...

OH MY GOD WE Will have the keys on the SAM DAY this is so weird...

WELL DONE>>..tis is soo hard and soo surreal....

yesterday at tea time, l had the 3am scaries and thought everything would fall through and l would be alone...a friend called just as l was about to burst into tears and she talked me back down...

wobbled at the dentists today...

perhaps we can catch up online later????
yeah SUB and FF are moving out!!!!

MOVING ON!!!

BoozleBox said...

Go you! I have everything crossed it works out for you this time!

For all that it may be legally ill-advised I think there's a great deal to be said for taking charge of your own destiny and not letting someone else dictate your future. I'm sure it will be tough at times but having your own space and living your home-life on your own terms will be worth it I'm sure.

I have to share my house with my mother-in-law a few days a week and even though she's pretty nice it still drives me completely and utterly crazy living with someone who's not on the same page when it come to the children. So I have no idea how you have put up with such a stressful situation for so long.

Jennysmith said...

Gosh Sub, a new start. Will think of you xxx

Rose said...

How exciting! This is wonderful news, Suburbia! I have my fingers crossed for you that all will work out. Having your own place should give you a whole perspective on life!

littleredhen said...

I've been following your story for some time now and you truly have been living in a bad situation. I cheered when I read this post. You deserve this. Good luck.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh well done - the excitement in your post comes over so well. Yup it is a scary time but my God, you will soar as soon as you shut that front door for the first time. Freedom from the stresses of a negative environment is like a lottery win. He has no key, no right of access to your home or your life anymore. He can try and get to you through the kids but he will never be able to excert control of you in any way that truly matters any more. I am so looking forward to following this next stage of your life. brilliant.

Lia said...

Oh wow!
way to go girl.
You'll be fine, your stronger than you think and your friend is very right and wise indeed.

We are to move a bit later this year and I am with you on being scared and excited all in one go.

Don't forget to bury all the bad memories in the back garden before you leave your old house.

By the way what is an S.O, we can't work it out.

Much love
Lia
xx

Akelamalu said...

Good for you!

Linda said...

Oh that's just the best news Sub. Big sigh of relief..... Wishing you all the very best with the move. I'm sure there are plenty of willing helpers. Linda xoxo

Jean said...

Congratulations. This will make such a difference.

Remember to prepare well. Take all your precious bits and pieces to somewhere where he can't get them before you move out.

And don't forget to cut all the cuffs off his shirts and spill porridge over his laptop just as you go. Oops, sorry, didn't mean that !!

Good luck and be prepared for some nastiness. It will be transitory and it is all worth it.

nick said...

Great news. As others have said, a place of your own will make all the difference, you will feel more confident and independent and you can keep Husband and all his infuriating tactics at a distance. Good luck!

Suburbia said...

Gosh, thank you all so much for all your good wishes and kind words :)

Lia, SO = Significant Other, my oasis.

Dori said...

Well done, you!

Anonymous said...

Fantastic news - I'm so happy for you and your children. And Jean's right : things that are very precious to you need to be taken somewhere safe ASAP. And of course it's likely to be the crazy small things that each of you'll treasure, and taking them with you will help make your new house the home you all need.

BS5 Blogger said...

Top stuff! Can we send new house presents, please?

Chic Mama said...

How exciting! Fantastic news...really pleased for you. I beat you can't wait..... xxxx
There is an award for you at mine. x

Kitty said...

Hooray and hurrah! I'm so, so, so pleased for you. Things will start to change now - you'll see. x

this is my patch said...

I'm so pleased there's a new start for you all on the horizon. I've everything crossed!

dulwich divorcee said...

Fantastic news!!