Almost daily diary!

Tuesday, July 07, 2009

I'm an android, get me out of here!

I have realised that all my children need is an android mummy! One that is programmed to say the following at the appropriate time:

Sit up to the table properly.

Please pick up the clothes from your bedroom floor.

Text me at 3pm not 3.30 while I'm driving.

You only need to text me if you need to change arrangements, not just to make sure I've remembered them!

Did you give in your home work?

If you don't give in your homework today you'll get detention!

Use your knife and fork.

List of things I've done (the android could have done) today.

Hoovered downstairs and up

Dusted downstairs

Made 6 jars of jam

Made lunch for Mum

Sewed on one button, one badge, mended one pair of trousers and two t shirts

Tided Small Sprogs room

Attempted to tidy Tall Girls room and then thought 'What the hell, let her do it herself!'

Googled ladybird Larvae

Washed

Ironed

Cooked roast dinner

Washed the kitchen floor

Cleaned the downstairs loo

See? An android could do all that perfectly well!

I'm off.........


18 comments:

Steve said...

I'd love to have an android version of me - one that could do all my work while I lounged around doing all the things I'd rather be doing...!

BS5 Blogger said...

Suburbia, we all know SS and TG *do* need to text you to see if you remembered, not just because they changed plans....hee hee.

Wow, you seem to have been a non stop android today :(

Try Ctrl Alt and Del, or a glass of wine.

lakeviewer said...

You need minions to do all the work you do. I hope your children will appreciate all you do.

Suburbia said...

BS5, what ARE you suggesting? That I am a little less than reliable? hee hee x

Letty said...

yes, but you have made 6 more jars of jam than I have ever made, and I am older than the hills..........

well not that old, but old enough.

I should have made jam a long time ago, but never attempted it.

Well done on the jam.......!

Who cares about being an Android, my day was even less exciting than yours!

Android Letty With No Curls as Androids don't have curls...

Half Mum Half Biscuit said...

Lordy! You did so much. Any android doing that lot would need to have its batteries changed several times!

Maggie May said...

Well I could do with an android like that!
I'm sure an android could not love its children though!
Well DO androids have children? Probably not, though if it was programmed to do all those chores who knows what it might be capable of!

Rose said...

But an android wouldn't have been able to give them a goodnight hug:)

Besides the fact that I'm impressed by all that you accomplished in one day, just why were you googling ladybird larvae??

Carol said...

It's cleaning day for me today (I try and do it all in one go) so could do with an android of my own!!

Like Rose, I'm curious as to why you were googling ladybird larvae....do tell...

C x

nick said...

What a super tidy home you must have. Everything spick and span and in apple pie order. Children lovingly cared-for. You're obviously a mum in a million. (This is android XZ1397 speaking)

Furtheron said...

You did all that ... in one day... Oh yes you are a woman aren't you, my other half constantly reminds me of everything she does in a day... :-)

Point is the android wouldn't work since there wouldn't be any point to to any of the things the kids did or didn't do that you have asked them to or not to do... it's all about the rebellion and the reaction

Suburbia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suburbia said...

Well, you see Rose and Carol, I have a little creature living in my bathroom......

XZ1397, you too huh?!

Furtheron, sorry for the reminder, and thanks for the explanation - rebellion and reaction - I like that!

Half Biscuit, I wish someone would change my batteries occasionally :)
Maggie, can you imagine what android children would be like? You could programme them to be tidy for a start!

this is my patch said...

Mostly what I have done today, and it was my day off work! How about an android partner, one that does its own ironing, doesn't leave a pile of clothes at the side of the bed, does the drying up without being asked and puts down the toilet lid when finished! x

cheshire wife said...

What would the android do when things do not go to plan? Looking after a house and a family may be boring and repetitive at times but they do not require a lot of thought or decision making. I would leave things as they are.

Liz said...

What a lot you achieved!

Daughter has a robot hoover and it locked them out the other day by pushing the bolt across. Her husband had to climb in through a window.

A Write Blog said...

Can you imagine the andoid developing a fault or a fuse or summat going and then getting it all mixed up.

For example; Ironed mum's lunch, googled downstairs loo and cleaned the ladybird larva.

Suburbia said...

Welcome, A Write Blog! Small Sprog cleaned the ladybird lavae!