I had felt a bit chilly all day, despite spending much of it in the kitchen cooking and cold in bed later. On Wednesday I searched out my slippers and put an extra cover on the end of the bed. What happened to the promise of a lovely summer? I am still waiting. I don't want summer to end before it's really begun, I don't want the seasons to move forwards, I don't like the dark.
Husband has been away all week and isn't due home until Sunday night, I am off on holiday with my children on Monday, so the timing is impeccable, well almost, wish I was going on Sunday night! The benefits of him being away are many; I have, at last, felt comfortable, relaxed and free in my own home, we can eat at any time, I have entertained friends in the evening, I can go for a wee in the night without 'covering up', I don't need to hide my mail, and so much more! The children don't seem to have missed him.
While I was ironing today, listening to some tunes that brought back memories, I wondered when exactly I stopped looking forward to Husband coming through the door at the end of the working day? When did he stop noticing me? When did I stop smiling at him in the morning?When did he start dismissing my opinions? When did we stop enjoying each other?
Is it inevitable in a relationship where you devote most of your time to bringing up your children? Was it inevitable anyway? Should I have worked harder?
No regrets, just unanswered questions.