Almost daily diary!

Monday, July 06, 2009

No Longer Blue

OK so it wasn't that bad! It turned out to be quite a nice weekend actually, some bits were perfect in fact, and my bathroom is very clean, which is a bonus! When I wrote my last post though I was feeling a bit low, but whoever it is that looks after me these days (besides all of you, thank you for your comments) gave me a nudge and quite by chance a girl friend came to call. She is indeed a great friend, one to which you can tell everything, know it is heard, understood and not repeated.

She comes with her own baggage though, poor thing, but then again, which one of us doesn't? She was sadder than me, and I hope that I listened well and helped her feel better. She brought all her children, and I had 3 here already. Who couldn't fail to be cheered up by all the jolliness around?

Today my solicitor told me that I must list all that I want to keep from this house. She means everything. It is a daunting task, I really would rather not do it. Somethings are sentimental, things that I have had as gifts from friends and family. I love all my books, photos, saucepans!! Looking around me now, I can't imagine writing it all down. I don't want what is not mine to keep. We have been together 15 years, married 14 a week last Wednesday, the house is full, how can I choose?

PS. Husband just entered the room and sat down.
"I'm getting fed up with hearing Micheal Jackson" He said
"I'll turn it down so that only I can hear it then!" I replied
Nothing changes.

19 comments:

the eternal worrier said...

Hi Sub, your 6 months down the road and I know at times its still really hard but just keep being positive with Tall Girl and Sprog and I’m sure all will turn out well. x

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

Oh dear I have one of these at home.. I will have to tape the MJ goodbye tomorrow ...

You will so be refilling your cup..is it on empty yet, just about l think...

drink, breathe, sip, sigh!

nick said...

How awful having to list every little thing you want to keep. How cold and clinical everything gets when the law is involved. But still, it's another essential step towards the finishing line....

Suburbia said...

Thanks Nick, you are right, that is very positive :)

Maggie May said...

Important to list everything. Take your time.
I personally wouldn't know where to start..... but think irreplaceable things like photos of the children and things of great sentimental value & then work up to the material things.

You will be free one day, it will be behind you.
Glad the weekend worked out OK.

Elizabeth said...

The making of lists sounds very grim indeed.
but you must do it.
I realise that almost ALL the furniture here is from my family or bought solely by me.
So , in the event I decamp, R. will have nothing to sit on.........!
Glad you are a little ore cheerful.

Rose said...

Not a pleasant task, but an important one. Obviously, if you have any Michael Jackson CD's, you should keep them:)
Glad to hear you had a better weekend than expected; nothing like a good friend who listens to you to cheer you up.

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh God, all that inventory stuff just to split your posessions. It is a nightmare when you end a relationship and have to split up the family jewels. Tedious, heartbreaking and very annoying. Good luck with it.

lakeviewer said...

Think of this time as a new beginning. Look at stuff that way: which would support your new you, which would remind you of the old you?

Steve said...

Glad your weekend turned out better than expected. Itinerizing everything sounds horrible but as Nick says, it brings you a step closer to where you want to be. I think I'd do a little bit every day rather than trying to do it all at once - that's far too daunting.

Carol said...

I agree with Nick!! Tackle it sooner rather than later...get it out the way and then you can move on rather than have it hanging over your head. Endings are always really difficult but try to hold onto the positive...new beginnings are very exciting and full of possibility...

C x

Furtheron said...

Think well on it... my brother bless him walked away from his marriage with virtually nothing. He doesn't regret it but he just desparately wanted out and in that speed agreed to stuff that maybe he shouldn't have done.

Do the lists - do them quickly. Go to each room and just list away like mad, don't ponder on it - look at the item and just go yes or no and follow your instinct. Sooner it's done sooner it'll stop being an issue - listen to me saying this stuff I'm the worlds worst procrastinator :-)

P.S. I am with husband on the MJ thing though... sorry but the worlds gone mad surely?

Lindsay said...

My husband walked away from his first marriage with nothing and does not regret it - the fact that he could see his daughter (now 42) whenever he liked was the only thing he worried about. My stepdaughter came through the whole experience unscathed and is a really lovely person.

My first husband and I just sat down and discussed how to share everything - so much better than filling up the solicitors boots with your money! We managed to agree everything about our divorce because we both realised it would ultimately cost us less!

Anyway very good luck with the finalisation of your problems.

Liz said...

It will be hard but do a very thorough list. My friend's ex-husband got incredibly finicky over it: he wouldn't even let her take her recipe collection!!

Sorry, I am with Husband on Jacko!

dulwich divorcee said...

Take absolutely everything that's yours - I still regret leaving a saucepan my grandmother gave me, plus all the wedding china and a million other things ....at the time I felt guilty and just wanted to cut and run. But now I need to make white sauce! Take your time and think about what you will need

JennyMac said...

What a task ahead...good luck and hopefully it is a great opportunity to purge. My Mom had to do this and in the end, she found it cathartic. (At the time, she wanted vodka, I assure you.)

Akelamalu said...

That remark and what ensued is part of the reason you are needing to list the things you want to take. Keep it in mind whilst writing your list. xx

Jennysmith said...

Gosh Sub, its almost like a house move. It must be hard to think logically about what to keep and that.

Yes, I always believe someone is lookin down on us and looks after us to a certain extent.

Thinking of you xxxxx

the eternal worrier said...

Started the 'D' ball rolling at the end of Feb, but no property involved. x