Sometimes things mull over in your mind for a while, or for ages. You look at them from lots of different angles and feel as if there is lots of time to make a decision, or you put off making the decision. Sometimes you need to talk about the whole idea but it's hard to choose anyone to tell. Tell someone too close and you end up involving them, someone too far away and you risk the decision being once removed.
I met a friend for lunch today. She is not a very close friend, but we always get on well. She is a very independent woman. I hadn't planned to share my thoughts with her at all, but all of a sudden I heard myself voicing thoughts that have been with me for most of this year, on and off. It was funny to say the words, it made it more real, more scary. She didn't seem surprised and, like a good friend, she gave no leading advice, but I was glad to have said it. It may be a long time before I say it again or act on it. I may never act.
So what did I say?
"I don't think that I shall stay married forever"
It seems inconsequential now that I've written it down.