Almost daily diary!

Friday, July 09, 2010

Time


Life can be such a roller coaster at times. Today husband informed me he was cutting off all financial support to the children and myself from 1st August. There is no child support order in place. My hours have been reduced at work. I am stunned.

Recently I have been feeling so much better, I have even read 2 books from cover to cover. Yet all of a sudden life seems less smooth again.

However right now I am lying on my back watching the clouds rush by, there is a chilled glass of wine sitting next to me. The sun is shining and I am loved. Life can be so strange sometimes. . . .

26 comments:

Suburbia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maggie May said...

I don't see how he can possibly do this. Surely if he wants access to the children then he knows that he has to support them?
I wonder if he is calling your bluff and just trying to rattle your cage & spoil your happiness?
Enjoy this weekend at least.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Chic Mama said...

He can't possibly be allowed to do this? Have you not got to an order stage yet? I hope you can sort this out....Thinking of you. X

Ladybird World Mother said...

Oh, golly. Life and its ups and downs. Thinking of you. And praying that you get all that you need. xxx

Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

Sorry I have not been around much just lately - called in to see how you were gettng along - was really shocked at this awful deveopment.

I am sure he can't just randomly do this!!

Sending virtual hugs and a chilled glass of wine to you....

Anonymous said...

You've sorted worse than this out girl so I've every confidence you'll get on top of this one. If you can manage to stay calm as well, that's fantastic ! Good luck

nick said...

That's pretty ruthless, but knowing his history, it's horribly predictable. So he wants to see his children but not support them? Crazy. I hope you can sort something out. How's the whole divorce/ mediation process going anyway? Any progress?

Suburbia said...

None Nick, mediation failed so court is the only option now, and to go there I need a simple form completed from my employer, which they have lost! If I don't get it back soon I will have to start the process over again. All very stressful and annoying, while at the same time playing into husbands hands and getting nowhere. I am tired of it all, but I guess that is what he wants.

Steve said...

The man's an idiot. Regardless of his relationship with you his relationship and responsibilities towards the children are morally unaffected. Or should be. In the long run this will bite him on the ass more than it does you or the kids.

Rose said...

I do hope you can get this all sorted out soon; this seems awfully vindictive on Husband's part, but then I'm not surprised. Glad you're feeling more better these days--you'll get through this, too.

Suburbia said...

Vindictive Rose, yes, but then that is his way.

Maggie I hope so, and thanks for your comment

Thanks for all your support everyone, it means a lot and helps me get stuff into perspective...

Jennysmith said...

Gosh Sub, he really is being a bugger isn't he. He must know he can't get away with that.

The silly sod. Things will turn out okay, please don't worry.

xxx

the eternal worrier: said...

What’s his reason for that?
Although I’ve been on the other end of this situation I’ve always paid maintenance and ‘no’ we never went to court. It just something you have to do. The more I read your blog the more I dislike him. xx

Rob-bear said...

I guess it's time to rattle your employers chain, and get that form found and completed. Or get a new form for your employer, and check on it every day. Maybe you have to sit at your employers desk while the form is completed.

To your employer, you're just one person. To you and your kids, you are THE person.

Suburbia said...

That is my intention tomorrow Bear, take the form miles away, find the office and sit there until they return it completed, that is my intention.

the eternal worrier: said...

Hey by the way. I love the new look blog.

Suburbia said...

Thanks EW :)

Furtheron said...

Good grief - how can he even think to do that.

You could retaliate with blocking his access etc. But how pointless that'll all be. I hope that if this situation ever presented itself to me (i.e. my wife left me or insisted I leave) then I'd at least consider the commitment I clearly made both at the start of the marriage and when we had the children. Note the word we you didn't have the children on your own - he is responsible whether he likes it of not. My daughter has a friend and her family have split up - they had a really good working arrangement then the Dad pulled from his side of the financial deal meaning the kids have had to move house and I know that his daughter at the moment hates him for it. Why is he risking his relationship with his daughter? I don't get it.

Good luck and congrats for you for dealing with it so well

Lakeland Jo said...

Life can incomprehensibly difficult sometimes. I am sorry to hear this. I hope you get a good outcome and soon

Liz said...

He can't do that! That's just nonsense. Does he really want to lose his children's love and respect?

What a ******!

Rob-bear said...

Having to sit there is a pain, Sub, and an almost-total waste of your time. But sometimes that's the only way to make it happen. {Sigh!} I hope you can get that form done and in to the courts.

Akelamalu said...

He has a legal obligation (obviously the moral one doesn't bother him much) to provide for the children. Get in touch with the CSA immediately!

Hadriana's Treasures said...

Gosh Suburbia. Things are looking pretty tough. Nevertheless I'm certain that you'll pull through this and feel stronger on the other side. There was an article in The Telegraph recently which said "what doesn't kill you...makes you feel better" It was saying that people who experience life's highs and lows feel happier. So when it's good it really IS good. Those good times will come back I'm sure of it.

That form is crucial and your employers should know that. Do you have a boss or boss who can pull rank for you? Any contact helps. Buy the HR department a box of sweets (even inexpensive ones) and saying pretty please does work wonders. (I've learnt the hard way!) Keeping wine/sweets/flowers/nice bubble bath/relaxation CDs handy for yourself also helps too. What's your favourite music? Make sure you can pamper yourself and that will help enormously. Sorry if I sound as if I am lecturing again. The Romans have a saying don't they?...don't let the barstewards grind you down!

Good luck with it all!Hugs Hxx

Mean Mom said...

Has your husband found out that you have someone else? I feel that, as he's not happy, he wants to make sure that you are suffering too. Just when you feel that things might be settling down a bit, he 'pulls the rug out from under your feet'. Almost as if he is playing with you - proving that he has some control over events in your life and your happiness, to a certain extent. I'm glad that you have some emotional support.

Suburbia said...

He has known for some time MM, I have never lied or tried to hide the fact. It had nothing to do with our marriage breakdown, the marriage was over way before that, however something has definitely set him off but I'm not sure what

Debs said...

Good for you for enjoying the beautiful weather and a glass of wine. Hope he had a change of heart and reconsiders.