Almost daily diary!

Monday, February 20, 2012

From bad to worse!

I am woken, just before the alarm goes off; there is a male 'member' in the bathroom. I can hear him in there, I am lying in bed with my eyes still shut. That's not all going into the pan I think to myself!

The light dawns...Monday morning, no more school holidays...bum!

I pad to the toilet myself, carefully avoiding a puddle the size of The Great Lakes, and sit down. Dilemma. Do I get him to clear it up and risk it spreading about the whole of the bathroom floor (I mean it could get seriously out of control if you don't look what you're doing!) or do I sort it out? I go for the multi tasking option of wiping while I am sitting. Holding copious mounts of tissue in my hand I make a grab for the detox, the handle of the squirter bit is dripping. Ewww.

20 minutes and a shower later I go down to the kitchen. The cat is hungry. He cries incessantly like a hungry newborn, even though there is still food in both his bowls. He has the noise off to a fine art. He goes off like an alarm as soon as you make eye contact. I try to fill the kettle and put it on but only get as far as the tap. The noise is too bad, if I don't feed him the whole street will wake. I empty last nights supper into the bin, wash his dish and refill.

Last time I did an internet shop I didn't have my glasses on, the cat food I'd bought was slightly different. Into the bowl it went like a slimy slippery bogey. I put it on his mat.

Now Mr A Cat can be quite fussy and knows every trick in the book to get a decent meal but today he must have thought it was his birthday. Surprisingly the new food was a hit. He gulped it down in one...Then threw it up on the landing seconds later. That's what happens when you bolt your food, I tell him as he looks a bit sheepish. I gather up the warm mass in some thick tissue. 30 minutes out of bed, I muse, and I've already cleared up a massive pool of pee and some slightly warmed through cat puke. Nice.

He runs back downstairs, ever hopeful for a second breakfast.

How was your Monday morning?

15 comments:

Maggie May said...

Well your post made me really laugh because I've had similar episodes over the years.
What is it with young lads about misfiring? My grandsons always seem to leave a trail of wet.

And what is it with cats for doing that? The times that has happened with mine in the past.
One good thing about rabbits is that they technically can't be sick. However a rabbit with diarrhoea is another story all together!!! Not nice.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Rob-bear said...

My Monday morning was consumed by a massive headache. I don't usually get bad ones like this, that go on all day.

But my headache was nothing like yours. Sigh.

Think of it that way; the only way to go is up. At least I trust that's the case.

Oh, and did I mention that I'm not a cat person.

Looking for Blue Sky said...

And I was only complaining yesterday that I had to clean up two messes made by Smiley - one from each end! Cat puke sounds worse....

Furtheron said...

Better than that!

I just had two grumpy women who had to go back to school

Wally B said...

Recovering from a weekend of wine tasting in the Yakima Valley. Groan.... Clearing the mess would have finished me off for good.
Glad you stopped by at mine. Your blog is wonderful.

Suburbia said...

Furtheron, I am grumpy for the same reason!

Wally B , thank you

Blue sky, acctually cat puke isn't as bad a humans!!

Rob, hope your head is better now? I do remember your lovely dog :-)

Maggie, yes I have experienced washing bunny bottoms! Quite a task!

Suburbia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
nick said...

Not as unpleasant as that, I'm glad to say. Just getting to work in torrential rain. Cats can be damn fussy creatures when it comes to food. I knew a cat once who wouldn't eat anything but liver. And the best-quality liver at that.

Steve said...

My Monday morning was better... but then my aim is always pretty good.

Dicky Carter said...

Damn that sounds like a horrible Monday morning Sub.

cheshire wife said...

I went to the dentist for a check up and scale and polish. The most painful bit was the bill.

Rose said...

Isn't it funny how cats soon take over the household? I've cleaned up more cat puke than I care to think about. Sometimes Sophie beats me to it, though...never mind, I won't go there:)

Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

ha ha, this cheered me up!! I have two sons and a daughter, now all left home. But when they come back, the boys misfiring still continues.

We now have a new tiled bathroom, but previously the wall beside the toilet was a no go area, (husband in residence too! LOL).

And cats...........at least dogs are not fussy, but cats, when I had my two were the work of the devil where pickiness and food fussiness was concerned!

J xx (btw thanks for your kind comments on my blog.....I am trying to get motivated to post more often!)

Liz said...

The week could only get better after that!

Liz said...

Just caught up on your other posts too.

Brilliant from your mum!

Belated happy birthday to SS. You always sing The Song; it's compulsory for parents to be embarrassing.

Hope ex has responded by now to your simple request. I'm glad you explained it to the children too.