Almost daily diary!

Friday, October 26, 2012

reflecting

He sits in my kitchen (at times like these the 'my' is so important) and drinks tea while Tall Girl shows him her recent art coursework. He makes the right noises, sort of, and then looks at his Blackberry and I resist the urge to kick him under the table! Her work is so important to her and worth more than a cursory glance, no wonder she is only productive in this house - she never does her art with him, which is OK except that she gets behind with work sometimes.

He likes to talk about what he did today, the recent show he went to, he has photos on his phone and I am making the right noises while (isn't it funny how your brain can do this) thinking that he has always been self obsessed but now that I don't live with it day in, day out, it is more obvious.

Later on we talk about different things; things we used to have in common; a game we used to play (on the extremely large PC we had in the '90's) until the small hours and how 'things have changed'.

We had fun together once, then. We were self obsessed together, we made a close world of two, became happily isolated. Then we became 3 and then 4 and it then it fell apart very very slowly, imperceptibly so. Funny isn't it?

Except for losing my children to him now and again I have no regrets, not one.



15 comments:

Earnest Petrol said...

Sounds like you are in a good place.

Maggie May said...

People can grow apart. Sometimes we just change without realising it. I'm glad you've found happiness apart.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Irene said...

That's the best way for it to be and the conclusion I have come to about my own life. Congratulations on achieving this.

Dicky Carter said...

Beautifully put and yes, it can feel that way :)

Rob-bear said...

Sad for TG. Happy for you.

nick said...

Making the right noises but consulting his Blackberry, talking endlessly about himself. Easy to see why you wanted to move on, and why you have no regrets.

NitWit1 said...

This distancing is more common than many think. We mature, or not; we grow older at different rates; interests change and sometimes clash if not shared.

Sometimes with effort it changes without moving on; sometimes an event provokes a decision to try to reclaim what was, or provokes a decision to move on.

The decisions are personal and not subject to judgment.

Liz said...

Good!

Jennysmith said...

I didn't think you would. Glad you're in a better place x

Looking for Blue Sky said...

Great that your post-break up relationship is so civilised, but curious as to why you were spending an evening together? (I don't see that ever happening here!)

Rose said...

People do change over time; if I'd known in my 20's what I know now...well, my life might be very different from what it is. I'm glad you have no regrets; from an outsider's perspective, it's clear you made the right decision for you and TG and SS.

Just read your last post--it takes time to make friends, especially in the workplace, I think. I hope you'll decide to go to the Christmas party; you can always leave early!

Carol said...

Some people are just like that aren't they. Its a shame...they miss out on a lot!

I'm glad your in a good place now

*hugs*

C x

cheshire wife said...

Life is too short for regrets.

Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

I have been way too to long away from your blog and I am sorry but life got so busy and I forgot my online dalliance from the past. I always enjoy reading your blog even though nowadays I am far too often not in the blogging world so I don't always read.

I think you are in a very good place now, I get the good vibes from how you write. And , sorry but any man, be it father or husband, who looks ar his blackberry while his child is talking to him.....well his the wrong man for you and your family.

I am a great music lover and there are two songs which come to my mind reading your post here.

check out these songs and their words when you get some quiet time......I hope the words seem as relevant to your place and time as I thought they are while reading.

A song you can you tube as I have forgotten the guy who wrote it "Cats in the Cradle" popular in the 70s and Neil Sedaka "The hungry years" ...... All good wishes Letty x

Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

Had to come back on to write the guys name who wrote the cats in the cradle song was called "Harry Chapin" just re listened to the words - very apt!