Almost daily diary!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

3 years and 11 days...

...Since I started writing here.

I started my blog 3 years ago this month, after hearing Petite Anglaise interviewed on Women's Hour. The next day I wrote my first post; I became totally absorbed. It wasn't long before I spent most evenings in front of the PC. Without knowing it, I had already chosen another life

My marriage had become pretty empty anyway, worn down by bringing up 2 children, having left my career to have them and leaving my happy-go-lucky self behind with my resignation letter. Not that it was the children's fault, and I certainly wouldn't ever be without them. I could say my husband was selfish and stopped me having much of a life, he certainly restricted my aspirations, but I was guilty of letting it come to that I suppose. I was living a half life, had slipped into it almost without thought.

It wasn't long before I began to get frequent readers on my blog. The same people who came back over and over again. I read their lives, they read mine and slowly they became virtual friends. I knew more about them than my real friends, such is the nature of blogging and I very much needed their friendship. I suddenly realised how lonely I'd been in my suburban half-life. (I have met several of those bloggers in the real world since then, and it has been satisfying to find that they are the same in real life as they appear to be virtually.)

Not long after starting to write I found another blogger who lived in the same city, a man, younger than me. He blogged about ridiculously funny and blokey things, having started his blog after ending a short relationship. His blog always made me laugh. Within weeks we read each others lives every day.

During this time we were only communicating in the 'comments' section of our blogs. He always left a witty remark or a caring comment. Within about 3 months we emailed each other directly, about nothing in particular, yet there was a feeling, an excitement every time I opened my mail and saw his name. Within in 4 months we 'Google chatted' daily. I was addicted, to blogging, chatting and the man! I was no longer lonely. I felt as though my life was slowly beginning again, I was alive, had forgotten how it felt.

I had fallen for words alone, how easy it had been.

Almost nine months after starting my blog we arranged to meet for coffee, harmless enough between friends, or so we told ourselves. It was a strange meeting, as with other bloggers, we already knew so much about each other. It seemed like we'd known each other for a very long time, were asking each other about events and people we'd written about, yet we had never met in the real world. It was 2 weeks before Christmas. On the 2nd January, less than a month later, I told my Husband I wanted to leave him. That was 27 months ago.

My divorce came through last month. I don't blog daily any more, mostly through lack of time and I do miss writing and visiting you, my virtual friends.

It has been a long and traumatic journey which is almost over. Yet at the same time there has been a wonderful and exciting new life unfolding almost daily, one that I never thought I'd have a chance to reach for, let alone attain. I don't regret any of it, but I still find it hard to believe it all happened by a chance listening to Womans Hour in the car, on the way to visit my Mum and an unexpected and innocent meeting in the 'comments section' on my blog. 

Three years and eleven days ago I had no idea what life would bring, resigned to the mundane and predictable life of being with someone who didn't love me any more. Yet for almost three years and eleven days there has been a sub plot waiting to emerge. Five Hundred and Fifty five posts later, who knows what will happen next?


Maggie May said...

What a lovely post and a new look to your blog. It looks very homely!
I remember visiting your blog quite early on because I hadn't been blogging for long and was intrigued because you lived in the same city, though I didn't say where I was from in those days!
Pleased things are working out for you and it has been a privilege to see you coming through all your difficulties.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Rob-bear said...

Wow! What a change. No, not change; transformation. A whole new you has emerged. That is something to celebrate. Not just for you, or the other blogger, or the two of you, plus your children. There are the rest of us, your virtual family, who have shared this "adventure" with you. Some have been around longer than others; the important thing is that many of us are still here.

So here's to your transformation, and whatever comes next — as in after 555 blog posts.

BS5 Blogger said...

Thank goodness for random luck and a hair scrunchie x

Steve said...

The great thing about life is that every day is the start of a brand new journey.

Akelamalu said...

Happy Blogversary!

We are destined to meet some people and this post proves it! :)

Elizabeth said...

I have followed your journey almost all the way.
I really admire the fact that you had the guts to get out of a going nowhere relationship.
I do hope you will be happy for ever and ever --or at least a very long time
in your new one.
Cheers and love from NY.

nick said...

What a series of lucky coincidences! How very fortunate that you found a way out of such a frustrating and unhappy situation and everything has worked out so well. And long may that continue.

It's strange how much we know about our blogmates after years of interaction. As you say, sometimes a lot more than our face-to-face friends. I've learnt so much about life and relationships and people's personal struggles in the process.

Furtheron said...

what a brilliant post.

You are so lucky as well - lucky to have found the right person and for it to work out for you. I know there's been the pain of the divorce and all that but it has still be a journey worthwhile.

I for one have really enjoyed being here for some of the ride... esp the small sprog bits... he is one of my heroes! A man of great intellect, wit and a view of the world which if I ever had I wish I could recapture just a small part of...

McBöbø said...

Thank you for sharing your journey and witnessing mine and Hullaballoo, as we traversed a similar arc to yours.

Great, innit! :)

Jennysmith said...

What a powerful post, Sub. And what you have been through.

Am in awe, have never met anyone online before. Don't know how to email direct and that.

Bless you, you deserve to be happy.

Yes, so strange that these things happen when they do xxx

Rose said...

Congratulations on your blogaversary, Suburbia! I remember the first comment you made on one of my first posts about rabbits; who knew then that we would still be writing these blogs today? It just goes to show that you never know how life may change; I'm so happy for you that you've come through these past few difficult years and found happiness at last.

Hullaballoo said...

woop woop

Hullaballoo said...

woop woop for you

Carol said...

Fabulous post that I read with a big smile on my face :-)

C x

whynotpat said...

What a sweet love story. I'm reading your blog for the first time and I can't wait to read your future entries. Congratulations!

Jean said...

It was fate, obviously. Good for you, everyone deserves real happines in their lives.

French Fancy... said...

I had no idea the man you kept referring to was someone you had met through blogging. I've seen his photo on your facebook page and he does look very lovely - I'm delighted that you found love this way.

Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

oh this is such a lovely post, thank you for sharing. I often wondered who "he" was. And how lovely it has all turned out well.

I had a very good experience meeting blogging friends, you may or may not remember, when two years ago I travelled to Oz, to stay with them.

The other day, however, I had a really bad experience with a blogging friend, or someone I thought was a friend, which still bruises my heart. However, I am just so glad I found you by accident, and was found your story and enjoyed reading regularly.

Life has moved on a wee bit for me, but in a good way, so I haven't blogged in my family blog for a while, but I may go back to it at some time. I am glad we met on line! And I always wish you well.

Letty x plus I cannot believe you have been blogging for so long, I must be about the same length of time but not so regular, not posted on mine since July 2010!!

scargosun said...

OMG! I have to tell you...I wondered...finding you both at the same time. So happy for EVERYONE! I can totally imagine those two 'kids' playing together on the floor.