Almost daily diary!

Saturday, November 28, 2009

One day done and one left to go...

... of the weekend that is. I can't complain so far, though in my head the whole weekend stretched ahead of me and I felt as though I was going to be walking through treacle. However, as always, the children are my saviours.

This morning my Small Sprog climbed sleepily up the stairs and lodged himself in my bed. We read stories and found and old Beano sticker book that he had hardly used. He set to work making his own comic strip with the sticker book characters, it kept him busy for what seemed like hours, first in my room and then sitting companionably on the bathroom floor while I was in the bath.

Tall Girl was, and has been since her birthday, engrossed in the audio Cd's of 'Twilight' which I bought her for her birthday. There are 11 Cds in the set and she has just reached the end. Being dyslexic, it would take her a tortuous couple of months to read the novel. She is spellbound by the story, as are all girls of her age it seems.

By the time we were all washed and dressed and ready for the day it was nearly noon! Husband had been downstairs all that time, well out of the way and unable to interfere. I love these leisurely mornings with my children. We were all happily doing our own thing, but together, if you now what I mean? There was no pressure to do anything or be anywhere, and for once, Husband was not making us go down for breakfast at a time when only he wanted to eat.

It was later, as I was washing up our late breakfast early lunch type meal, that I caught sight of Small Sprog proudly showing his dad his homemade comic strips. Husband had totally taken over the project and was doing one himself, while Small Sprog watched. I felt angry that he didn't have the respect to watch and encourage Small Sprog without interfering and trying to 'improve' him or tell him what to do. I kept my council.

By 3.30 we were at our party. It was fun and predictable, 12 years and always the same people and format, though the children are somewhat bigger now and the older ones initially more awkward! The predictability and company of close friends made the whole afternoon and evening fly by in such a comfortable way, we all know each other so well. There was, and always is, far too much food, but the mulled wine was just about perfect!

Husband did not come in the end. I was very relieved but as we left him behind in the house, I felt a small stab of pity for him. How would I have felt in his shoes? We had always gone before as a family. But the pity didn't last long, as I remembered just how bad things have been recently. Is that bad?

My Domestic Goddess friend, who was at the party and always makes the cake, commented on husbands behaviour when she dropped her children off to me recently. She commented on how cold and harsh he was, and how even to her, he was abrupt and off hand.

I was glad she had noticed. Sometimes I think I am going mad.

More time with friends tomorrow. I am thankful.


Elizabeth said...

Sounds a much better day.
I feel sad for husband too.
How much better it will be when you are living separately and not treading on eggshell all the time.

Rose said...

I am so glad you have good friends nearby to help you get through this, Suburbia. I don't know how you can live in the same house with Husband there and his behavior; frankly, you are one brave woman! The custody battle sounds like a ploy just to make you angry; I don't think I'd worry about his chances of winning, as long as you have a good solicitor.

Hang in there; there's got to be a light at the end of the tunnel!

nick said...

Forget the pity, he doesn't deserve any. Preserving your own emotional well-being is the only important thing right now. His behaviour to your friend dropping off her children just shows him up even more.

Steve said...

Friends are a real blessing in such times - I'm glad you have some good ones around you.

Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

So glad you had a better weekend than expected, although husband still being a pain in the a***.

Funny how you wrote about almost feeling sorry for him at one point.

I have an InLaw with whom I have a very complex and irritating relationship......put "Mother" in front of the InLaw and you will perhaps understand!

Once, after she had been widowed for a while, I found myself almost feeling sorry for her in a particular situation, then, just like you, I thought of all the times she had upset me, irritated me and angered me, and the "feeling sorry" vibe, soon disappeared. ;0D

It shows, I guess, we are human, we cannot feel badly towards someone all the time, and perhaps in a way it is a good thing.

He is being childish methinks, and to be honest, I also think he is possibly not enjoying any of this behaviour at all, but he has got into a way of behaving, which both makes him feel empowered but not happy with himself, however he does not know how to change it for the better.

Here endeth my amateur psychology lesson...........sorry, got carried away there just thinking about his horrid behaviour.

Letty xxxxx

As ever Blogger's wonderful word verification strings are most appropriate for my comment.....


ha ha

Chic Mama said...

i've just read Friday's post too. I don't know what to say. I cannot believe there is nothing you can do to get him to move out. This is pure torture. It is not healthy for the children.
As for the custody will cost so much. My children were interviewed and had to attend court over our has all cost an absolute fortune as well. You cannot live with this constant stress. I am really worried for you, I know how stressed I get just handing the children over to my husband ( court order even states in a neutral location because of the stress for the children and I if he comes to the house) to face him everyday would send me over the edge.
They are both bullies. Sorry I'm ranting on here and not helping....what did your solicitor say about the house situation again?
Take care, thinking about you. x

French Fancy said...

Well the weekend is nearly over and it sounds like it went better than expected. As for all teenage girls loving Twilight - I know a couple of mature bloggers who are totally obsessed with this vampire phenomenon that is Bella and Edward - no not me, got better taste than that!

Carol said...

I can understand why you felt sympathy toward him and I think that says a lot about you and how lovely you are...but, like Nik, I don't think he deserves it!! He's going out of his way to make you miserable and, to me, that is not how a real man behaves!!

C x

Furtheron said...

Take it a day at a time...

My daughter is the exception to the rule since she is 14 but has no interest in the Twilight stories... if anything is positively anti them - she not keen on fantasy stuff unlike me and more into things like My Sister's Keeper etc.

nick said...

Ooh, snowflakes. Very clever. There'll be Christmas trees and robins next.

Casdok said...

Just been catching up on where you are at and it all sounds a bit of a nightmare. So am glad you have had at least one relativly peacful day and good friends.

Suburbia said...

Thank you all for your comments, as always, it makes me feel much better when I read them.

Yes Nick, I was considering a tree! If you find one suitable, can you let me know?!

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

Little pieces of paradise, right there in your hands, like precious jewels. I love the moments you hold so close to your heart.


PS- I also love the snow on your blog!

Scarlett & Viaggiatore