Almost daily diary!

Thursday, May 14, 2009

A mothers work........

A little while ago I wrote about having angels, how special people suddenly turn up when you most need them, lend a shoulder to cry on, show you the way or cheer you up. Well, today, I hope, I have repaid my debt a little and become and angel myself, no matter how small.

When I returned home from picking up the children, there was an older lady outside my house, pushing a baby in a pram, up and down the road. I smiled and she spoke. I let the children in to the house and went over the road to talk to her, and my goodness, how she needed to talk.

Her daughter, who lives not far away, had just had her first baby and the lady I was speaking to was the mum, come to do her bit for her daughter. But it wasn't going well. Her daughter hadn't slept for nights, was short tempered and upset. Gosh we've all been there! Dealing with the first new born certainly didn't come naturally to me, it was absolute hell for a good two months or more until I learnt to be a mother, less important, more giving, sacrificing all you crave for for a tiny little bundle. 

She was distressed, this other mum, the one who had come such a long way to pick up the pieces. It was all so different in her day: "We always put the baby on its tummy" She said "Now you have to lie them on their backs, what happens if they're sick?" 

She was in that awful position of trying to keep all her 'outdated' knowledge to herself, trying to keep the piece, trying not to interfere but wanting so much to help. She was a long way from home with no one to talk to. 

So she talked to me, for ages! I listened, remembering how difficult it was, knowing that it would get easier, and that her daughter would become closer to her mum in consequence, realising that one day I may be in her shoes if Tall Girl 'produces', knowing that everything takes time.

As she left she thanked me for listening. She looked a bit better and I wished her luck. 

Today I hope I gave a bit back, it felt good.

19 comments:

Elizabeth said...

This is such a lovely story.
Sometimes what is most valuable of all is just being there to listen to someone.
Yes, being a new mum is utterly stressful
and I'm sure being a new granny is too........!
I'm sure you helped her a lot.

Maggie May said...

You were really kind to her and I am sure she will remember you and that you made a difference to the situation.
I hope that they settle down into a good routine soon. I guess you won't ever know. Or do you know the daughter?

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 said...

Good for you for taking the time. I am sure it helped enormously. Hope you get your wings!

Steve said...

Oh I well remember the stress and the unending fatigue... it does pass thank God! It always feels better to be the giver than the receiver I think... you tend to be less stressed for one thing!

Mean Mom said...

I remember those difficult days with my eldest son. I had no idea what I was doing and my parents were an enormous help, when they came to stay. I'm sure that the new granny really appreciated having someone to talk to.

Lakeland Jo said...

I agree with Elizabeth. What a lovely story. We can all be each others angels at some point in our lives. I bet you made a real difference.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

You are an angel!

Fi from Four Paws and Whiskers said...

This so agrees with what Saz wrote at Fat Frumpy and Fifty..
Her religion - Random Acts of Kindness

Well done
xx

Rose said...

Oh, I do remember those days! I was so young it seems when I had my first son and had absolutely no idea how to take care of a baby. My mother was an absolute godsend. You were an angel to listen to the grandmother; she just probably needed some reassurance herself to know that she was doing the right thing. We all need someone to listen to us every now and then!

Suburbia said...

Hi Maggie, no I don't know the daughter, there's not much 'community' in this sprawling part of suburbia!

Kitty said...

Good for you! Yes, you did give something back, and that's the way the world should be. I have such a strong belief in the concept of 'community' - our all looking out for one another. I know it's not in vogue at the moment, but I still do it anyway.

Well done you. x

The Dotterel said...

There might not be at present, Sub, but you've just started something...

Liz said...

I'm sure you did. You were lovely to take the time.

What does happen if a baby on its back is sick?!

Furtheron said...

Great story... giving away is the best way you can receive I find.

nick said...

You certainly did a good deed! She must really have appreciated having someone to spill her woes to, and being a mum yourself you must have been able to give her some good advice.

Brett said...

Sometimes in giving you get more back.

Working mum said...

Poor woman. I understand now why, when I asked my mum for advice and help when daughter was born, she kept saying, "But it's all so different from in my day".

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

You are an angel.... and don't we all need those?

I hope you have some helping you through your days.

HUGS

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

swile67 said...

what a neat story! i love when our lives intersect with people in this way... there is a reason !