Today, Tall Girl and Small Sprog have been around and about the street with the Nit Children. They've played on their bikes, they've swooshed about a lot of water and got out the 'spud gun'! It's been a beautiful day and 'playing out' is just what they should be doing. However, today I have felt lonely.
When I am in the house by myself I never feel lonely. I positively love it, and I'm fairly happy in my own company most of the time. But today I have not been alone here. Husband has been in all day too, and to have him here is not relaxing. I am on edge. I can't find a quiet spot to breath easy. I feel lonely but am not alone. I think the loneliness comes from the empty space that gapes between us. I am not regretful about that, I have so much more now, than I had before, but I am impatient to get through it all and move on.
Sometimes, when I forget that I have so much to be thankful for and forget that I have had such wonderful good fortune to have two healthy children and some very special and caring people in my life, something pulls me up sharp and reminds me to enjoy the positive things in the' here and now'. This time the something came from one of those special people, by e mail, I hope he doesn't mind me sharing:
"I love getting up early. It's such a delight to meet the possibility of the day before it arrives and then all the potential thereafter is free.
Taking delight from whatever you can muster in any given minute is quite refreshing."
Makes you think huh?
PS. Thank you to everyone who has commented recently, especially regarding solicitors. It is in their hands now, though I suspect it will not happen quickly.