Almost daily diary!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Friday morning, Thursday evening...

I was woken this morning by a tuneless strumming. Eventually I drag myself out of bed and put my head around Small Sprogs bedroom door. "Did you like it?" He says, smiling a big smile.
"Lovely!" I reply sleepily.
I look in on Tall Girl. He face says 'grump' all over it. I give her a wide and exaggerated smile and a jolly "Good morning!"
"Great noise to be woken up by" Was her retort as she nuzzled down in her bean bag, eyes glazing over, back to the land of MSN. Surely there can't be anyone online already?

Last night, whilst tidying up in the kitchen, I had put on an old CD. By coincidence it was called 'While My Guitar Gently Weeps', yes really! It has loads of old guitar tunes on, a few of which remind me of being at school, and I rediscovered it recently when looking for something else.

Small Sprog came into the kitchen and his eyes lit up. Minutes later he was back with his new Guitar. He drew up a chair, plonked himself on it and started to strum along. Track three came on. "I know this one!" He shrieked excitedly. I have no idea how he knew the words, it is almost as old as me, but anyway we both sang along together while he strummed and Jerry Rafferty valiantly attempted to keep us in key!
"Clowns to the left of me, jokers to the right, here I am, stuck in the middle with you!" We pointed at each other and laughed. When the track ended Small Sprog put it on again and again. We kept singing, he strummed, it all got a bit raucous.

Tall girl appeared, having heard the noise, she managed to drag herself away from her computer. Normally she is my singing and dancing partner in the kitchen. She looked on in amazement. "Come and sing" I pleaded with her, holding my mobile up like a microphone, "Come on it's fun" She just laughed and went back up to her room. Small Sprog and I are no contender for MSN. It seems I have a new partner to be silly with.

Husband was the next one to join us in the kitchen. He surveyed the scene and then the CD cover with slight contempt. "Play this one" He says to Small Sprog as he changes the tune mid track.
"I don't like that one" Small Sprog complains
"It's a great track" Continues Husband, as he goes on playing bits and pieces of lots of different tracks, changing over and over again. All his favourites but not Small Sprogs.

Small Sprog looses interest and comes to look at a video I had taken of him earlier on the laptop. "I can't hear it on there" He says to me, and then he shouts to Husband "Can you turn the CD down?" But Husband refuses. Small Sprog looks disappointed. "Its ok" I say to him. "We'll look at it together later"

Eventually Small Sprog gets back control of the CD and puts his favourite track back on. We sing some more before bed, but the spell had been broken a little.

Later that night I run through the scenario in my head, Husbands behaviour, thoughtlessness and total lack of understanding that he is not the only person who has an opinion. It used to be a regular occurrence. Not in the same way, but the whole attitude, lack of thought for others and total disregard, although in his defence, I don't think he always realises that he is doing it.

For all of this year I have known that I am doing the right thing, but seeing him squash a happy Small Sprog, as he had crushed me in so many small ways before, just reinforced the confidence that I have that it is, and has been for so long, over. We all need to move on.


Akelamalu said...

How insensitive of him!

Still you and small sprog had a good time before he interrupted didn't you? Moments like that remain in the memory. x

gaelikaa said...

It's so sad, what can one say? But it happens....

Steve said...

Your hurt and disappointment is very apparent. Could be your husband is merely expressing (very badly) his desire to join in... and simply doesn't know how to join in without assuming total control. The sad thing is, at his age, I doubt much can be done to unlearn such damaging behaviour.

Maggie May said...

It is selfish to take over someone else's hobby and try to manipulate it. That used to happen to me as a child all the time. Eventually I gave up trying.

Glad you are more understanding of Small Sprog's needs. He won't forget the good times he has with you.

I am sure you know what is right for you and you must press on with your plans, regardless.

Nuts in May

Chic Mama said...

It sounds as those he's a bully? I feel so sorry for small sprog and it's the biggest way to knock a child's confidence. If they don't get respect from their father it has a knock on effect. :0(

nick said...

At least he can enjoy himself with you even if husband spoils all the fun. As you say, the sooner you can move on the better.

Working Mum said...

I think Steve has a point. Shame that your husband can't see what makes small sprog happy and just join in with that.

Rose said...

I don't know what to say about Husband's behavior, but you are definitely right--it's time to move on for all your sakes.

Wow, can SS play the guitar? I'm so impressed! I'm still working on learning three chords:)

Starnitesky said...

I agree you do need to move on. Glad he got to sing a little before going to bed.

Furtheron said...

I have to admit that I've got that CD buried somewhere, even more have to admit that at least one band I was in about 6 years ago it was pretty much our set list!

Liz said...

Good for you. It will be his loss although whether he will ever see that is doubtful.

Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

oh i cannot wait until you are free of this git.

there is a Four Tops Song, which I adore, way back from my past.

called "What Is a Man" not played often enough on any music station.

The words simply say, what a real man is..........I hope you can find it and listen to it, Husband is Not A Man. He is just what we call up here A Gimp.

A bloody fecking Gimp, I don't know him but I feel I do.

What would be interesting, as a reader of your blog, was to know how you two got together.

You sound and seem and are, such a nice person, kind, full of life, full of concern and love for your children, and he, The Gimp, seems so bloody awful.

How the hell did you two get together?

Was he once the Knight In Shining Armour? And when did he change?

I want to warn my Tall Girl off of men like Husband, any hints????


What is a Man????? And What Is Husband? oh sorry being far too nosey, just curious, you always seem like someone I could make friends with in real life, and your husband sounds like someone I could ignore for a life time......

and more.