Almost daily diary!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

That time of year again

I texted my daughter this morning to find out what she was up to while I'm away. She and Small Sprog are with their father this weekend. "I am ok. Daddy is still ill" was about the gist of it. I am hoping I will not have to go home because he cannot cope.

Daddy is still ill. This time, as often happens, it is his stomach. He is hungry but won't eat, therefore it is a self fulfilling prophesy. I have been waiting for this to happen. It is a little early but, at the same time, a predictable event, which could almost be calculated on the kitchen calender. Daddy is ill, it may last sometime.

I'm not sure the children really notice, a year is a long time when you are their age, but it has been a regular event roughly since Tall Girl was born. The 'illness' starts around Tall Girls birthday, or the clocks changing and it lasts until just after Christmas. Each year it is different, more severe some years than others. I believe it is all in his head, brought on from echos of childhood events, yet he barely seems to remember being ill at the same time the previous year.

This was last years event. I'm not sure how this years one will pan out. He is stressed, we are all stressed, living there together. I am hoping against hope that his mood may spur him into making the required change, but really I know that depression immobilises you and makes decisions difficult. I find myself out of control of my own life again. I wonder what will happen?

14 comments:

Steve said...

Has he considered counselling? I think you're right - it's emotionally driven rather than anything medical (I assume he's had that side of it checked out?) - a good counsellor may be able to work wonders.

Maggie May said...

Oh dear....... that is a worry if he is going to be ill while he looks after the children.
I wonder if he is suffering from SAD.

Nuts in May

Carol said...

Gosh, that is going to be tough for you to deal with on top of everything else!!

I'm sending lots of sunny vibes to help you and the kids through the dark moments.

C x

French Fancy said...

It's been a long while since I've visited you and I don't know why that happened - I've always enjoyed your posts, even when you have had really bad stuff happen you wrote about it so very well.

I hope that things move out of the U bend of 'not so great' very soon.

Fat, frumpy and fifty... said...

lo....l think this is called bah humbug...it starts here when Larry stops work, many a year he has passed on xmas dinner, more bah humbug, it miraculously disappears the day after new years day.....when he goes back to work, do you think its an allergy or just mans syndrome?

Rose said...

Depression is not an easy thing to treat, especially when the person won't seek help himself. I remember your posts about this from last year; I wish that there were some way that Husband would seek help before his illness affects Tall Girl and Small Sprog.

Akelamalu said...

Is it S.A.D. he suffers from, it sounds like it?

Elizabeth said...

This sounds predictably grim.
Poor all of you.
Really, somehow or other you have to get out of that house even if it causes awful chaos.
It seems corrosive of your sanity.

Reasons said...

Keep your chin up. I suppose he can't help it, though I'm sure it's very tough on you. Take care of yourself, things will get better.

Suburbia said...

It may be SAD. I don't know enough about the condition. He saw a councillor this year and apparently, after 2 or 3 sessions, she said she didn't need to see him again. It is a shame that he went in the spring time!

Saz, Like yours, boxing day or shortly after seems to do the trick!

Thanks for all your support.

Helen said...

Oh dear, although I am not going through the problems you are, I do know what it is to live with depression in the house - my kids learned to recognize the symptoms and leave him well alone, sometimes what I said out of desperation seemed to help, other times we just had to weather it through - it is very tough, you really have my sympathy.

nick said...

Hard to say if it's a genuine psychological disorder that needs intensive counselling or just irreponsibility that means he should "pull himself together". Certainly if it's something for counselling two or three sessions wouldn't even begin to sort it out. It would need dozens of sessions at the very least.

Furtheron said...

Not sure if it is SAD... IBS? that comes and goes - my son gets it and stress is a major driver with him

Liz said...

Let's hope it does spur him into action. xx