Almost daily diary!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The waiting room

As I drive towards the center of the city I feel a little faint, sick and not sure if my stomach will last the hour and a half of mediation in store. I try to calm myself, at least I wasn't loosing the children completely, how would that feel? Unimaginable.

I was flustered, couldn't decide where to park, parked in one car park and then realised I was too wobbly to walk the distance, so drove to a closer one which cost a fortune!

Once walking I felt a little better. I was early and didn't want to sit and watch the clock for 15 minutes especially if husband and I were in the same room. Luckily I was first and was directed towards the waiting room. I staked my claim on one chair, putting my bag on the one next to me, as if on public transport. I waited, book in hand but not taking in the words on the page.

Within minutes I heard someone else coming up in the lift. He was ushered to a seat further along the row. A brief nod of acknowledgement was all that passed between us. We sat there, two strangers in a small room, waiting to discuss our dearest children.

I wasn't sad, far too much water under the bridge for that, but it was curious. Sixteen years ago we'd not quite met, and here we were strangers again, but with two precious things in common which we were willing to fight tooth and nail for . . . . .

11 comments:

Steve said...

It sounds unimaginably fraught and traumatic and so sad too. It really must be exhausting. I know you spoke of a light at the end of the tunnel yesterday... do hope it's not too far away for you all.

Reasons said...

I hope it went well for you and was too traumatic. You articulate that situation so well, it must have been icy in that waiting room. Good luck xx

Maggie May said...

I must have been nerve- wracking. Like you said........ at least you are not fighting for the children. How terrible would that be.
BTW....... walking is good for tension as it really releases *good feelings* in the brain.

Nuts in May

Chic Mama said...

Funny I said something similar today...how could things have got so bad that we can't even talk.My heart is pounding for you and my hands sweating at the thought. Thank goodness it appears to have been worked out for now. When will the changes happen or will you have to sort of the finances first? xx

Carol said...

Oh my heart goes out to you!! I hope it wasn't as awful as you were anticipating!!

*hugs*

C x

Jennysmith said...

Hi. Yes, its become a strange situation now, hasn't it. Almost intimate strangers - or something.

Rooting for you sweetie xxx

Somewhere in between here said...

Oh you are such a brave woman. I know you probably don't feel like that at times. I wish you the best of luck for the end result.

the eternal worrier said...

I'm so glad I didnt have to go through that. Sorry that you are Sub. But then I didnt see my youngest for a year so maybe I should have?

nick said...

Well done for getting through all the terror and nausea and managing to complete the mediation session with a positive result.

It must be very odd feeling like a stranger again, as if everything that happened in between was a kind of dream.

Dori said...

What a week you've had already! Now that this portion is over--hopefully the rest will move quickly!

French Fancy said...

Fingers crossed my bloggy friend who is going through it.