Almost daily diary!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A big sigh

"Where is Tall Girl?" asks Small Sprog for about the fifth time this evening, "When is she coming home?"
"Not until tomorrow" I sigh "She's at Daddy's tonight"
He puts out his bottom lip. No matter how the much they argue and bicker, they do love each other very much. No matter how many times I hear one or other of them screaming at the top of their voice "I hate you!" I know that deep down the love is so much greater.

Poor Small Sprog. It hasn't really dawned on him yet that Tall Girl gets to visit Daddy's house every other Wednesday night, but that he is not included. I don't like it. In a way I would rather that they both went, even though I do not want to be without them, so that they would be together and not feel that one was having something the other was not. It hasn't dawned upon Small Sprog that that is the routine yet because the last month or so has had 2 weeks school holidays in it and we have not really got into a proper routine of every other Wednesday, until now.

In bed tonight, when he asked for her again, I stole myself and asked "Would you like to go to daddy's every other Wednesday too, with your sister?"
"No" was the instant reply "I want to be with you"
I am flattered and glad and pleased, yet it is sad. And if he had said yes, Husband would have taken a lot of persuading. I have already tried to arrange it for Small Sprog, thinking he would want to, it fell on deaf ears. It all just makes me want to do a big sigh.


And as I sit here writing into the night, I can hear Small Sprog gently snoring and I know how much I love him and that he is here and that he is mine...

15 comments:

Maggie May said...

Oh dear, I didn't think that was going to happen now having the children singly. I thought that had been squashed by the mediator.
It is a difficult situation but I am glad SS chose you.
Maggie X

Nuts in May

saz said...

..and I know how much I love him and that he is here and that he is mine...

yes l know it to be so too....my son sleeping in the next room... my daughter a mile up the road...

sigh....

saz x

Anonymous said...

It is sad, but at the same time maybe Small Sprog is going to really enjoy time alone with his mother - a special weekly treat when he alone is the centre of her world, and the two of you can talk and cuddle and be daft together!

Brett said...

sweet

Furtheron said...

It is a shame that they are being treated differently but not your choice.

Hopefully he'll come to appreciate that he gets a special night alone with you every two weeks.

nick said...

How lovely that he prefers to be with you and not with husband. His heart is clearly in the right place.

Carol said...

A big sigh indeed!! Shame on husband!! How goes Tall Girl feel about it?

I like what anonymous said...make a special night for just the two of you...he'll realise when he's older just how unfair it was but at least he'll have happy memories of what you guys did togehter!!

C x

Elizabeth said...

gosh I know what you mean!
SS needs both you and his sister.
Mothers and sons...........
however it may be good for them to be with their father as individuals
hope all is going well

MissKris said...

My heart aches for your situation. I wish there was a solution. Such a burden for you, and so important not to plant thoughts of self-doubt in Small Sprog's mind about his own self-worth. I know from my own life experience's as a child that children are very resilient. It's the tough things that we face that builds character and a compassionate heart for those around us.

Steve said...

Your husband makes me sigh. What a fool. And the person he is cheating the most is himself... at least Small Sprog has you and his sister.

Rose said...

This just doesn't seem fair at all, but I'm glad that Small Sprog is happiest where he is. This will give the two of you a chance for some special time together. I wouldn't be surprised if Tall Girl secretly wouldn't rather be with you as well.

the eternal worrier is: said...

I’m so glad for you that things are gradually sorting themselves out. When you turn your life upside-down it seems to take ages for everything to settle again (maybe it never does for some). Your children seem to be very level headed and kind, which also helps. Keep marching onwards...x

Akelamalu said...

To me it is incomprehensible that a father should treat his children differently, as I am sure it is to you. :(

However, as long as SS doesn't feel hurt by it that is the most important thing. Wednesday evenings can be special for you and SS too. x

scargosun said...

I am so glad SS has you and you have him. :)

BS5 Blogger said...

They are both so lucky to have you x