I am fairly ashamed of myself for getting so low yesterday! During this strange journey, I have managed to keep fairly positive, but yesterday it all crumbled. I am worried that I was not a good mother yesterday, though Tall Girl and I had a little retail therapy and later both Small Sprog and Tall girl and I did some drawing and stuff together. But when I woke up on Saturday morning, it felt that the weekend would last forever (and I remember times when I would have given anything for that to be so), I couldn't drag myself out of that feeling and tears came too easily. It is a bit like wading through mud. Each step has to be thought about and planned, things to fill the time, things to make sure Husband and I can avoid each other.
Later in the morning he walked into the bathroom while I was just getting out of the shower. I hastily wrapped my towel around myself and scowled "What?" I was indignant, gone are the days when we all waltzed in and out of each others spaces unannounced. I wanted to say - what do you think you are doing? I am not yours any more, keep away - but it took me by surprise. Next time I will have the words ready, next time.