Almost daily diary!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Bored suburban housewives of the world unite!

Last night I, unwittingly, lost my Small Sprog. The nit children's mother from down the road phoned to ask me if I knew where he was! Gosh, what a bad mother I am, I had no idea he was missing. Her son had seen him leave there house, and a few minutes later, went out after him and couldn't find him anywhere. We visited the usual families in the street that he often goes to, and no one had seen him. Tall Girl was almost in tears, fearing he had been taken by aliens, she confessed later, (She has her mothers mutant Star Trek gene!), but I was trying to be rational. He had walked out of the nit children's house voluntarily, no one had snatched him, he must be somewhere. Then Tall Girl had a thought. He might be at Gabriel's house (the angelic one who Small Sprog thought was a girl). Gabriel only lives part time on our road, so we'd forgotten to check there.

We raced down the road and knocked on the door, but there was no need, he was half hanging out of the upstairs window grinning. "Come down here at once!" I shouted at him, just as Gabriel's mum opened the door (I suspect she thought "fishwife"). Then I had to explain to her what was going on whilst explaining to him that he should always let me know where he's going. But, anyway, all was well.

I hadn't talked to Gabriel's mum before and she asked me in while we exchanged phone numbers, in case it happened again. Her kitchen was chaotic and she explained how she was cooking dinner for her book group that evening. "That's funny" I said" I have book group at my house tonight"
"What are you cooking?" She asked politely
"Crisps" I replied (we only require wine usually, no need for food!)
"One of my group writes food articles for the Times" She boasted "So I always get a little stressed about cooking for them"
I smiled politely, thinking that wine and crisps were quite easy to muster on a school night.

"What book are you reading?" She enquired. I told her the name and the author of our ordinary 'Top 10 Best Seller List' read and then returned the question. I wish I hadn't asked! I can't remember the title now, or the french author, but it was way more high brow than ours.

Later that evening, when my lot were chattering away (mostly not about books!), I mentioned the other book group meeting up the road. I wondered how in depth their book review was.
"Funny that we should all be doing the same thing on the same evening" I said
"Oh, I saw someone pop in there when I arrived" Someone else chirped in "She had far to much make up on to come to this book club!" 
Maybe we're not all quite so united after all!

16 comments:

Maggie May said...

Oh this is funny! I wonder what is really going on at Gabriel's mothers house! Like the sound of the book club at yours, except that you don't mention books! MMMhhhhhh!

the eternal worrier said...

Sounds like they only read those books that are nominated for the Booker Prize and stuff! Nothing wrong with reading the bestsellers.

Elizabeth said...

Book groups really are wonderful -- but quite hard to police.
Some people want 'easy' books -others challenging ones.
Some people never shut up etc etc.
I hadn't thought of snooty and low-brow book groups.
I once worked with a woman who, whatever you did, she/her children did it better.
Her sons ate foie gras and scallops and stuff....
I always told her mine only had macaroni and cheeses and pizza until they went to college.....

Steve said...

I'm reading Ray Winstone's biography at the moment - a good antidote to all the high brow uni texts I've had to wade through over the last 10 years! Glad Small Sprog was recovered safe and well... and a little chastized.

Working mum said...

Well, what do you expect from someone who calls their child "Gabriel"? I'd much rather come to your book club - do you do Chick Lit?

Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 said...

Oooh us women, what are we like?!! I used to belong to a book club before we moved, but three of the women were Yorkshire lasses and therefore too tight to buy the books so one would buy and the other would wait to read it! It didn't work well, needless to say.

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

ha ha ha! How I love this suburban stuff, I am drowning in it sometimes, but hold my head above the water line.............

Nice to know I am not alone!

Wine and Crisps, who needs food!

Or books...........well, yes, books are good, but wine and crisps, yum!

Can I join your book group via long distance?

Letty who is probably signed in as her dog, 'cos wine has flowed freely tonight...........

Akelamalu said...

I like the sound of your book club - just wine would suit me fine! ;)

nick said...

I was in a book group for a while, somewhere in between your two I think. A bit of food but not too pretentious. Some prizewinning books but others as well. I'd be comfortable with wine and crisps and a down-to-earth novel, for sure. Our group folded because people were just too busy to come regularly. A shame.

Glad SS turned up safe and sound.

Fi from Four Paws and Whiskers said...

Heavens - that soudns way too stressful...
Our club was "Wine,Women and Books". What more could you need...
We banned fancy food as it became a competition -
There were only ever 12 people...we put money in the pot and whoever was hostess that month could buy whatever they wanted as long as it went in the box for sharing out...
Lovely - we ran for years and years - then I moved. It is prob still going,...
I miss it :(

Liz said...

Cgildren! Or even children! Glad he turned up safely although I suspect SS would be more than a match for an alien.

We're just restarting our church reading group (there is one already that reads 'Christian' books but I can't be doing with that). We've chosen The Luminous Life of Lilly Aphrodite for our first book. Straight from Richard & Judy's book list.

Maternal Tales said...

Definitely don't need a whole 5 course dinner for a book club. I mean come on! Are they talking about the books or the food?? Yours sounds much more up my street. And yes, glad ss was recovered safe and sound - you handled it remarkably well I think! x

Furtheron said...

I bet the other one is all pretentious nonsense. No doubt all of them would secretly love to be at one like yours but they have the facade to maintain don't they...

Most of the books I read are hardly the most intellectually stimulating but then that isn't the point for me, it's about escapism and for me to use my imagination.

Btw - tell your daugther people are only abducted by aliens in certain states in the USA - mostly the very very flat ones where everyone in the town is related. :-)

Rose said...

I'm glad Small Sprog is home safe and sound! We still laugh about the times each of my children was "lost," but it wasn't funny at the time at all.

I think I'd much rather come to your book club--wine and crisps sounds much more inviting. I'd be too stressed out trying to fix gourmet snacks for a high-brow group. And there's nothing wrong with reading best sellers! Besides, I'm impressed you're reading Brave New World on your own.

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

I'm confused. Isn't it about books and friends who like to read the books?

Where does status come in?

I don't get it. It should just be for fun!

;o)

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Crystal Jigsaw said...

I've never been involved with a book club, hardly get time to read these days. But yours sounds rather interesting! Would like to be a fly on the wall at the other one too!!

CJ xx