Almost daily diary!

Monday, February 08, 2010

My kindhearted boy

Small Sprog has gone tobogganing with his cub group tonight. Husband has taken him because I am taking Tall Girl to something else. Small Sprog has been very excited about going.

"I'll take my camera mummy, so you can see what it was all like!" He said this morning when we were alone. He knows that all the photos of the children that his dad takes, on the digital camera, I am never allowed to see, not even the birthday ones.

Husband has a VERY expensive camera which was supposed to be a joint possession. Seems I have lost my half! He downloads all the photos onto his laptop and then immediately deletes them from his camera. I have lost a years worth of memories. But I still have my children, so I can't really complain I guess.

Anyway, I was touched at Small Sprogs thoughtfulness. He wanted to take his camera so he could show me his fab night out. Just how he was going to take a photo of himself tobogganing I don't know, but it was kind and thoughtful of him to think of me. Bless him.

So tonight as I was kissing him goodbye, he said to his dad "I thought I could take my camera. Then I could show. . ."
His thought process stopped for a split second ". . .Tall Girl what it was like"
"It's OK, I've got mine" Husband said. That was it. No question of arguing the point for Small Sprog.

I gave Small Sprog an extra squeeze. I knew he was protecting me and had thought about the situation. I wish, in a way, he didn't have to think like that at all, but I am very thankful for his thoughtfulness.


Steve said...

Your husband is a pig. Sorry. Just had to get that out of the way. But what a wonderful boy you have.

Eternal Worrier said...

I'm confused, how is small sprog tobogganing! Have you still got snow! The more I read about your Ex the less I like. God I hope I'm not like that.

Suburbia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Suburbia said...

EW, dry ski slope!!! And from what I read, I can't imagine you are :)

Thanks Steve

Reasons said...


Enough said about him..ahem, I mean that.

Read you last post - grab that rented place if it's right Sub.

Manchester Lass, Now and Then said...

What a precious son you have Sub♥ Melts your heart when you read how much he loves his Mummy. As for your husband, he is one mean hearted character. Had to refrain my language here. I'm hoping and praying that you will be in your new home very soon. xoxo

Maggie May said...

I am not at all impressed with your husband's selfishness. Dear S S is a sensitive little boy. he will go far.

Nuts in May

French Fancy... said...

Yep, I think Steve has it summed up pretty well. Fancy not even keeping the pictures for you to see.

Working Mum said...

Aw bless him. It makes my heart break to think of a little boy trying to take his own camera to show you what he did because that selfish man won't give you any photos. At least your boy wanted to show you, wonder if he'd do the same for his dad?

French Fancy... said...

I was thinking a lot about you last night - it will get better you know. This is just a phase of your life that will soon change for the better - you've just got to keep on plodding through the rubbish. It will clear eventually


(word veri is mist - that's what you've got now, but mist clears)

nick said...

That was very thoughtful and quick-witted of him. A shame he wasn't quite old enough to insist he took his own camera and took his own photos.

Husband is a total arsehole.

Furtheron said...

He is a lovely kid... he will go far and do well in the world

Jean said...

Good grief, you are married to a peevish bastard. I wouldn't be surprised if you told us he used to torture hamsters or wee on other kids' homework when he was younger. He certainly knows how to hurt you now.

I suggest you accidentally spill porridge (because it's sticky and it sets) on both his laptop and his fancy camera - just after you have moved out.

In any case, I why don't you buy yourself the cheapest digital camera you can get and take all the pictures you want - who cares how good they are, it's what's in them that matters.

Akelamalu said...

Your son is kinder and wiser beyond his years, which is more than can be said for his father.

Chin up love. x

Kitty said...

You won't be in the least surprised to know that I am in the same boat - lots of photographs taken, none are seen by me. He even buys them clothes but won't let them bring those clothes back here. And so it goes on ...


Anonymous said...

You find that your children grow up almost overnight in these situations ... my son was 8 when the X left and I regret that at times he didn't lead the life of a little boy without any (grown up) cares in the world.

Anonymous said...

I want to give you and small sprog the biggest cuddle in the world, cos I know what it's like xxxxx

Suburbia said...

Kitty and Hullaballoo, that's 3 of us in this very small blogging community. Thanks for your support, I'm sad that you have been there, are there now, but it really helps to know I'm not alone. x

Rose said...

Steve was brave enough to say what all of us are thinking. I hope you are able to find a suitable house soon, Suburbia; even if you don't have a stick of furniture at first, you'll all be happier there. You may not have the photos for memories, but you have the best part of Small Sprog and Tall Girl--their hearts. I'm sending a big hug to the three of you!

Saz said...

wot a wanker..there is a lot of them about just now....get my drift!

he is obviously YOUR son...lovely boy!!

saz x

Wanderlust Scarlett said...

That is so very sweet, how precious. It hurts my heart and I love that you are blessed with such an absolutely wonderful boy.


Scarlett & Viaggiatore

Marvin -The Hollow Hound said...

Sorry to say this, but you are definitely better off dumping Husband.

Small Sprog is a gentleman! Unlike his father.

What a cruel man.

You don't need to be physically cruel to hurt someone, mental cruelty is just as bad.

My thoughts are with you.

Jeannie xxxxxxx aka Letty

Susie said...

I think I am going to have to find the time and read your old posts-just found this blog today.

I think it is so sad that sometimes people (am talking about your husband!) are so selfish and avengeful (sp?) that they don't see the damage they are doing to their kids.

I have a really good friend whose ex prevented their almost suicidal teen from getting therapy he needed. Unfathomable.

What she has done that has made the most difference is that she has taken the high ground and has never said anything bad to the kids about their father. At the end of the day, they know who is there for them and trust me all the bad things he does-the kids will eventually find out by themselves.

Good luck, find the strength and remember you don't need pictures to have great memories.

People don't remember the things you said or did, they remember the way you made them feel. Make your kids feel special and they will take that with them for the rest of their lives.