I experienced a brief escape from suburbia to the Forest today. Though the day was grey and wintry, it matched my mood as the trees and fields sped past. I turned up the volume in the car but it was turned down again and I was reminded that I have no autonomy here. I closed my eyes, felt the comfort of the cars vibration and slipped easily into my own thoughts of an oasis there.
Later on we arrived at my sister in laws and I realised that being in company is the perfect solution to my mood. Husbands nephew, who is 31, was there and we have not met for quite a while. I enjoy his company and so do the children. Four generations under one roof, and a dog! What more could I ask for? Communication is a great healer. We tell stories and exchange views. I am now coveting Nephews i phone and so is Small Sprog, who has a definite talent for 'tilting' games!
Nephew is in a finished relationship but unable to escape. His parents are obviously worried. As I leave, my sister in law talks over her worries. "Nothing ever stays the same" I tell her, "Something will happen" and I realise, as I speak, that I am not thinking of his relationship but of my own.
That sounds a busy and thoughtful afternoon!
My brother has an iPhone - I know the tilting games of which you speak! No.2 is rather adept at them too - must be a boy thing.
I hope all goes well for your nephew. Sometimes a book has to close to enable us to open a new one. We evolve. Just because something was right once doesn't mean it'll always be right. We'd all still be with our first loves if that were the case, wouldn't we?
Oooh listen to me - you've obviously hit a sensitive spot with this post.
Take care ... I have loud music now whenever I want. You will too.
Kitty, I know you understand, thanks for your comment :)
You are right, nothing stays the same but it's sad when a relationship ends. :(
You need time to think about this.
Its funny how we get this sudden sort of clarity. Oh Lordy, pass that bottle........xxxx
umm - sweetie, how does one get the snow on one's blogpage? xxx
oh my dearie... this time of year does evoke deep thoughts and contemplation...
try and let it all flow over you...difficult I know...so you don't wallow..
l must check out google chat..and we can spend some time over the hols..chatting???yes/no
my son save dup and bought himself an itouch l too covet it..and havent had a go at the tilting.
Oh.... Suburbia..... you are feeling sad......
I am beginning to put pieces together and I am sad for you.
LIke Jenny I would like some snow please too?
I hope the New Year brings you a lot of happiness
Saz, yes when you have time let me know.
Jen and Jo, will let you have the link for snow!
I left a comment earlier, but I think Blogger wouldn't take it...
I haven't spent much time reading blogs lately with all the Christmas preparations to do, and here I've missed three posts!
Family get-togethers are either great for cheering you up or very stressful--glad yours was the former.
Your Mum was lucky to retrieve all her packages the other day. My aunt once did something similar with a birthday cake; unfortunately, the cake didn't make it:)
Small Sprog has been ill? Hope he is recovered for Christmas!
Sometimes loud music heals everything.
Christmas time always seems to bring about the soul searching. I hope that you are able to reflect and find what you need.
I like comments to be meaningful and add to the post... but really, just want to say that I was here, I read it and I was moved enough to write... and having been through it, know how scary and murky and slow the process is in realising that all is not well and that you might have to take action, eventually.
Knowing things are not right doesnt't mean it is over.
You can try...
but if you feel belittled, or scared, or are worried in any way, go.
Otherwise, I read somewhere, "the decision to end your marriage should take at least as long as the time it too you to enter into it". Think long and act slowly.
And how do you show him love and affection - does he respond to your actions, or is he indifferent?
SO many questions but really, the only thing that matters is that you and the children are ok
Thinking of you.
I wanted to say something wise, full of insight and help in reply to your post...but I can’t think of a single useful thing.
Nobody in the world has been through your situation, but remember lots of people have been through that situation.
Does that make sense?
I enjoyed your post, it made me think of a couple of things that are going on in our lives over here.
A good food for thought post, thank you.
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Gill in Canada
P.S. Want to see snow, pop over to my blog!!!!
If i can be of any help, you know where i am.
Brett, you lovely man, thanks :)
Gill, hope you are ok over Christmas
Worrier, it makes perfect sense, I know you've been there, thanks.
Fi,thanks for your thoughtful comment and advice.
Polly, thanks. Sometimes the music HAS to be loud!
Rose, good to see you, Merry Christmas :)
You are beginning to say what I have been thinking for a while. I have been there and survived. So did my children. You will do what is right. Take care and Merry Christmas to you all.
I am hoping, after the year I've just experienced, to have one of the most boring, uneventful New Year! We've had enough stress, grief, and 'Great Unknowns' to last us a lifetime! The one highlight was the birth of our second grandson...that was a DEFINITE high point. Thanks so much for stopping in to say hello. I wanted to stop by and wish you the most wonderful Christmas ever!
I'm sorry that you're having such thoughts about your relationship. These decisions are always tough, particularly when there are children involved. I know that you will do whatever is best, however.
Do try to have a good Christmas. I have flu, but I'm showing some improvement!
Do hope that you can enjoy Christmas and that things will sort themselves out.
Big hugs and a Happy Christmas! A good therapist is worth megabucks. Maybe a thought for the New Year? All the very best. Hxx
Sounds to me as though it will be happening sooner, than later.
I missed you!
I also wondered... tongue in cheek, if I'd been gone long enough for you to have that deed done already!
Told some of my friends about Small Sprog and R2D2 in the Nativity... so many laughs!
I hope that you have a wonderful Christmas.
Scarlett & Viaggiatore
Christmas is the time for thinking.........
you are right "nothing stays the same" and yes "something will happen".....and my wish for you is that 'things' if they have to alter from "the same" work out ok, and if "something happens" it will be a good something.
I cannot say any more. But hey, thank you for making me think a wee bit via reading your blog, and looking forward to your musings.
One more thing, think deeply about your "own relationship"......these things are precious. do not do anything foolish or spur of the moment.
What seems perhaps staid and suburban now, when you look back, may be the best time of your life.
Give things time..........
My best beloved gave me an engraving which said "grow old with me, the best is best to be".........
The test is, if you can believe those words, you will make it.
Have to say on reading your posts, I feel you are not a happy bunny in several areas in your life.......ok it takes me a time to click on......sorry.......
sorry I may have been insensitive in my advice to you, well such as it was.
Just remember to be happy, people tend to put so little emphasis on happiness, when it is the most important thing in the world.
To be happy, wake up and know all is well .............
oh ok I know little or nothing of your situation, just hug Tall Girl and Small Sprog and be happy.
Life is a big path and there are many turnings.....
Any time you want to off load I am here.......the anonymous personage. You have my email.
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