The children will be home tonight. Not too late? I asked Husband, though I could feel him bristle, all the way up to the satellite connection and back again, as I said it. Well, I mean, it is 'back to school' tomorrow, and I know they'll be tired. He says they will be back at 5pm. That is much later than I thought they would be, but seeing as I am not in control, there's not much I can do about it. They have had beautiful weather to be by the sea and I know they have spent a lot of time on the beach. I hope that they have not missed me. Is that the right thing to hope?
It is back to normality for me too later. I have been living a different life while they have been away. It has been fine and easy and full of wonderful moments that have made me happy. I have thought about the children and texted and spoken to them too, but I have not missed them very much. I know that I would have missed them terribly if I had been at home alone, without them, but as I have been away too, it has been peculiarly easy.
As I am writing this, I am wondering what the next week will bring. Husband wants to talk seriously about next steps, which is necessary, but it will be hard emotionally. He also wants to spend next weekend together as a family. All four of us, doing something together (I did manage to get him to almost agree to just one day on the weekend, I hope that still stands). We have not had a family day out for months, and he thinks it will be good for the children. I'm not sure if it will send them mixed messages? I am dreading it in a way. I know some of it will be fun, I love doing stuff with Tall Girl and Small Sprog, but I have no desire to rekindle past memories with Husband or to feel regretful. So it is with trepidation that I am looking forwards to the coming week, and I am, as all to often at the moment, looking behind at what has gone before with fondness, and trying not to be sad that it has passed, but thankful that it has occurred at all.
PS, Fi has passed on this lovely award. Thank you so much Fi.