Almost daily diary!

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

I Got the Blues.......

Sometimes I just get blue. Something sets it off and I feel the need to hide away and wait for it to pass. Recently it hasn't happened much, I have been too busy, kept myself busy. Being busy means there is no room for the blues. Being busy is a safety net, a crutch, a coping mechanism. I am not alone often enough to allow myself the indulgence of blueness. It does seem an indulgence.

Yet it is a necessary function, to feel blue.

Today I spent the day alone, I did not rush around, I did not feel the urge to compulsively fill each moment. I had time to just be. And all the feelings and trauma of the year filled my body and found it's way out in tears. A necessary cleansing.

Sometimes the world feels like a stage, we paint on the smile, lift up our chins, and carry on. Even my job encourages this, working with children requires this sort of act and it is not a hardship to smile and be happy with them.

But today I am licking my wounds. It has been a very long time since I have done so, it s way overdue and I don't have enough time to do my laundry properly.

Tomorrow I will smile and enter stage left. It will pass and things will move on.


Letty - A Little Girl With A Curl said...

I am like you, I don't allow myself enough time for "me".

Relax, just let it all out.

All things must pass, even the worst times.

You are doing ok.

Trust me, I am not a Doctor.

Letty xxxxx

Maggie May said...

I am sorry you are feeling like this. You must let it out.
Since I have been on sick leave I have missed the way I used to have to put on an act for the sake of the children & I have found myself feeling like you do. It is harder at home.

Chin up! XXX

Nuts in May

Saz said...

l know this feeling all to well...the good thing is you do recognise it...and it wont take a firm hold. You wallow a little and can move on. Great girl you!!

All will be well in Suburbia quite soon. I can feel it.

nick said...

A day of emotional cleansing is good. You'll feel a lot better for it. You can only keep your feelings bottled up and pretend everything's fine for so long.

MissKris said...

Thank you for adjusting the font! I still can't see the sidebar but I'm not here to do that, haha! At least I can read your posts, tho. I'm having one of those licking my wound kind of days, too...let's meet in New York for a cup of tea, eh? We can cry in our teacups together.

Furtheron said...

I think this time of year is like that for many people.

Suburbia said...

Thats funny Letty, thanks!

Maggie, work does take your mind off things doesn't it.Sorry you are feeling it too. Thinking of you often.

Thanks Saz, I know you feel it too sometimes.

Yes, Nick you are right, it is good for you as long as you don't dwell for too long.

Furtheron, not you I hope. It can be a very creative time though....

Brett said...

I always read but don't comment as often as i should, but wanted to let you know at least one person is watching the show

French Fancy... said...

Tears are meant to be very good for people. Just let them out and don't look in the mirror after you've finished sobbing.


Carol said...

You can't keep a happy face all the time and it's not healthy to try!! Let it out, lick the wounds and hopefully you'll feel a bit better for getting at least some of it out your system!!

C x

Steve said...

Sometimes you've just got to feel the pain before you can deal with it...

Wanderlust Scarlett said...


Have a glass or two of wine. The sun will rise again tomorrow, and everything will continue to change.

Scarlett & Viaggiatore

PS- not sure if I said it yet, but I love the snow on your page.

Rose said...

It's not healthy to keep all our feelings locked up inside. A good cry every now and then helps to get rid of those bottled up feelings. I hope by the time you read this, the blues have blown away!

Reasons said...

I so know what you mean and you are right to give in to it occasionally - we are not machines. Wishing you a lovely time this Christmas and a much better 2010! Thank you for your support this year. x

Kitty said...

You know really there would be something wrong with you if you didn't need a good old cry after everything you've been through this year. I think you did exactly the right thing - occasionally we have to let ourselves be sad.

Thinking of you. (((Burby))) x