Almost daily diary!

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Small Sprog's collection!

Next to Small Sprogs bed are some jam jars, a specimen jar from the hospital and a couple of plastic containers. I know boys can be obsessed with collecting unusual objects but some specimens in his collection are just plain weird!

The less weird are the ones containing a butterfly wing, an ex-chrysalis, some dead beetles (best not to take the lid off this one because they have a strong smell of fish about them now!), a half disintegrated bee and something else that smells, but not as bad as the beetles.

Then there is the specimen jar (the sort the nurse gives you to wee in). This one contains a 20p piece which is a lovely shade of verdigris. It came by this colour through a purely organic process.

Back when Small Sprog was about 5, I left Husband in charge for the day while I went to a tutorial. They had had a good morning and, while they were out, Tall Girl found 20p on the pavement. She was pleased with her find and, most likely, gloated about it! Small Sprog howled that it 'wasn't fair', so he got one too. When they came home they took their money upstairs. Tall Girl (sensibly) put hers in her money box and Small Sprog ate his!

To cut a very long (and dramatic) story short, I met them all at the children's hospital where the nurses used a metal detector to find where the money was lodged. It was stuck in his oesophagus, just above the entrance to his stomach, but luckily it was wedged sideways so the he could still swallow his own spit. They took an x-ray and kept scanning him every half an hour or so to see if it had moved along his digestive tract. It did not! So he was crowned 'the human money box' by the nurses, who obviously had seen this sort of thing a million times before, and taken down for surgery. They took the money out using a long probe with a grabber on the end. The worst bit was when they put him under the anesthetic. I couldn't stop myself from wondering if he'd ever wake up again but he did, and was none the worse for wear.

We asked if we could keep the x-ray. The 20p showed up well behind his ribcage! But they wouldn't let us take it home so they bottled the coin for us (which has turned such a lovely shade) instead!

However the jar that Small Sprog is most proud of is the most recent addition to his collection. It is the one that makes me want to vomit the most. He organised this one himself, showing me with pride the other day. 'Look what I've got!' Yuck, I can't bring myself to look at it again. In this jar he keeps.........his verruca, circa mid April 2008. It was a very large one and he had become quite attached to it! I guess I should be grateful that he didn't eat it too!

At the table today, mid mouthful, Small Sprog slips something out of his pocket and places it proudly on the table. I braced myself. 'What's that?' I ask tentatively
'It's my special stone' he replied in a way that told me I had definitely asked a stupid question, 'it sparkles'.
'That's nice'.
He reached into his pocket again.
'Oh you have another one' I exclaim delightedly (not).
'Yes, and this'. He is animated now.
'Oh, that's just a piece of greaseproof paper' I say.
'No,' Replied Tall Girl, 'it's my bunny teeth!'

Sometimes I wonder if they are really anything to do with me at all.


girl with the mask said...

He ATE the money? That is BRILLIANT!

Akelamalu said...

Oh boy, the things they collect!

MissKris said...

I don't have a story about either of my kids eating anything weird, but my little Chloe dog ate most of one of those stretchy-string net things they put around roasts or boneless fowl to keep it all intact while its roasting. She's a Lhasa Apso and not very big, but she managed to scarf/gag a good half of one of those nets down her gullet. I happened across her in the kitchen, gagging as she tried to swallow the rest of it. I grabbed the end still sticking out of her mouth and pulled what I HOPED was all of it out! It ended up being only a portion...the next morning she was out...pooo-ing...the rest of it out. In portions. The rest of the day. UGH! I'd say she was one lucky dog to have passed the whole mess thru her belly and bowels! I told her her gluttony is going to be the end of her one of these days! It taught me to be VERY careful about closing the cupboard door where the garbage can is stored in the kitchen, too. Kids and dogs...they'll be the end of us, won't they?!

Dori said...

I have to admit--I needed to look up verruca, and...eww!

I also spent a few moments playing with Archie. :)

Susan said...

Well, Small Sprog is smart. If you don't think you can save your money, swallowing will at least hold it in place for a little while. I like his collection~sounds cool!

BS5 Blogger said...

Grrrrrrrreat Post! Small Sprog is a top chap. He is going to be a very sound man in the pub in about 12 years. Go Small Sprog!

Next to my bed I have a top pencil sharpener in the shape of a really long model aircraft carrier. It's very smart. I bought it from the shop at the SS Great Britain. Terrible retail layout but cool stuff.

Really fine post, Sub!

Brett said...

That has put a smile on my face to start the day, thanks

Böbø said...

Awwww. Boys can be such good (heart stopping) entertainment.

Sandpiper said...

LOL Yep! He's a boy, alright! Great story! How funny and cute.

scargosun said...

He knows what to keep safe, I'll give him that. I don't think I could deal with that collection though. It would freak me out to no end.

Suburbia said...

Hi GWTM. Brilliant? I guess that's one way of looking at it!

Akelamalu, and that's just the half of it!

Oh Misskris, yuck ,yuck, yuck!

Dori, I couldn't resist Archie either!

Thanks Susan, Bobo, Sandpiper and Brett for your comments and insights.

BS5 that is a strange thing to keep by your bed! I sometimes feel you have a Small Sprog within?!

Scargosun, the freaky thing is ...he has more!!

Liz said...

I thought the coin might have made its own way out ... Hearing it was retrieved by surgical means is almost a relief.