Almost daily diary!

Friday, May 09, 2008

A visit from my mum

Mum came to see me yesterday after I finished work at lunch time. I love my mum very much and owe her everything. However sometimes we take a while to 'gel'! I like it when she comes down and I have learnt to try to appreciate it more because she's not getting any younger and one day the 45 minute drive may be too much for her. When I go to her house things are different. If my stepfather's there things can be more than a little edgy. When it's just mum though it's fine.

So yesterday she was supposed to arrive at 12.45. She is renowned for lateness, and often made me late for school in my teens because she insisted on dropping me off at school and always left it 'till the last minute to leave home! I have the same habit (which is annoying, no one wants to admit to having the same bad habits as their mum!) I don't make my children late for school though as I remember what it felt like, but other things that I have to leave the house for are often timed to the last second. My excuse? There is always time to fit in one more tiny little job, when I know damn well there isn't. This habit annoys Husband greatly. He used to be a good timekeeper!

Anyway back to mum. I said I would be home at 12.30 so she said she would be here soon after. I expected her about 1.15, but no. There she was, before I'd even kicked off my shoes! 'Damn' I muttered under my breath. I thought I'd have a minute to draw breath before she arrived!

It wasn't that I didn't want to see her, I just needed a little time to unwind. Pour a cold drink, open the windows, hang out the washing, read my blog (this may have been the crux of the matter!!). But no, here she was, fresh as a daisy and raring to go!! Sometimes when she comes she is loaded with gifts! Vouchers she has saved from the supermarket, the free thing from the by one get one free offers, something her neighbour was going to send to the charity shop but she 'rescued' just in time (!) and sometimes flowers. She is so lovely and thoughtful (even though I keep telling her that if she gives me the free one then it's not really a bargain for her!). It was cheese this week. Three for the price of two. I got all three of them!!!

When she arrives with gifts she blusters in through the front door, avalanche style, shouting in an excitable way (which apparently I do too, according to Husband) and bursting with news of this offer and that freebie and where she got it and 'you'd better put it in the fridge' and so much information, sometimes I find it hard to cope! 'Just give me a minute' I want to say, 'it was quiet here a minute ago and I was just busy doing something I need to finish NOW'. But it's no use! This is her style and how great it is to still be so full of enthusiasm at 70!

I hope, as I'm gathering all this information, that my face isn't saying 'oh for goodness sake'! I take a deep breath and ask if she would like a cup of tea. This gives me a moment to busy myself and not take the onslaught full on!! Inside I'm feeling a little disgruntled, (my blog is beckoning) I'm trying not to show it but I think I might be sounding a little strained!

But time goes on. We settle down into something resembling normality. We talk about mutual friends, the weather, the children and dogs! I make us a sandwich and we drift outside into the garden to eat and talk and just be.

There is lots of sewing to do. Tall Girl brought home 3 badges from camp. All need to be sewn on to her uniform and camp blanket. She has holes in her tights and Small Sprog has demolished the hems of two pairs of trousers this week. So, in the warm sunshine, we sew together, passing the time slowly and pleasantly. We talk about the every day things in life and are happy with ourselves.

We get on well, my mum and me. We have been through hard times together and life is fragile and precious. She was my rock for so long and suspect I am hers now . We make the most of the time we have left. We are both loved.

The black and white photo (click for close up) shows mums parents and grand parents. She has so many old photos, all in a large brown cardboard box, and takes pride in telling me that they are all labeled, so I know who they all are, when she's not 'here' anymore!!


scargosun said...

That is so sweet. I was wondering why I had not heard form you today. :) It was for a very good reason. I realize that Mother's Day is a different day over there but here, it's on Sunday so let me wish you a very happy US Mother's Day. :)

Liz Hinds said...

Did I just leave a comment?

Dori said...

I'm so glad that the time turned into a pleasant afternoon for both of you! The box of photos is a treasure. My grandmother carefully labeled most of her photos and I'm so grateful.

I'll be thinking of you guys this weekend languishing in the garden as I do my best not to teach my son new words with our own home improvement project!

Rose said...

A lovely post. It's wonderful that you get to spend some time together this weekend. Your mother sounds a little bit like mine, and I find myself becoming more like her as I get older. But that's not a bad way to be! Enjoy your weekend with her.

swilek said...

It is Mother's Day on Sunday in Canada too so Ithought this was a fitting post about your mom or mum as you Brit's write! ( I always loved spelling it mum! instead of mom:)) Anyways, I had to laugh when I read the part about your mom bearing gifts...sounds exactly like my mom- maybe it is their age! I often wonder if I will end up doing the same thing at that age!!!God forbid but I know it will probably happen!!!:):) Enjoy your weekend! Karyne

BS5 Blogger said...

This was a very lovely post! I really enjoyed reading it and liked its balance of clam versus hurricane!

It's a little before 6.00 here and the day is bursting with potential. Wasn't last night's storm fun? Does Small Sprog like thunder and lightnng or is he a wee bit scared of it yet? Bristol was the UK's wettest place and it only really rained for 1 hour.

Cor, your soil project sounds fun. Can we have some project pictures, please? Have a great Saturday! I am car cleaning (very excited about that) and house cleaning (less so).

Maggie May said...

I loved reading this great post!
But it could have been my life you were describing!!!!!!
Your Mum sounds like me, bursting in with all the news (though I am never late!) and you sound so much like Sam! (Love/hate!)
Mostly love!!!!!
At the risk of repeating myself! Great post!
BTW are you an LSA?

Laura Jane Williams said...

Ahhh, that must have been so lovely. I suspect I might be one of those people who just gives TOO MUCH INFORMATION as soon as she walks through the door... mama and her twin sister always say they need a lay down after they've spoken to me. Oh no!

(how was tall girl after camp? okay?)

Kitty said...

I am staying with my mum at the moment - we are still finding our place with one another, but have a good enough relationship to - I hope - survive the experience. x

XXYXX said...

Awwww Suburbia, you so are your mother's daughter. I wonder if Tall Girl will catch muumyitis too, and in your dotage you'll be sitting in the sun sewing with your daughter for your granddaughter.

Well why not?

Anonymous said...

Awww, your mum sounds very similar to mine, Suburbia. She gets so excited about vouchers and special offers.

And I can relate to that feeling of let down when my visitors arrive on time and I just wanted some down time beforehand.


MissKris said...

I'm one of those who no longer has her mum around. She died 19 years ago, just a couple weeks before our US Mother's Day. Reading this the day before Mother's Day now sure makes me nostalgic for the times my mom and I spent discussing everything under the sun! Our relationship was...difficult...she wanted to be my best friend most of my life, not my 'mom'...and it caused friction 'til the day she died. But I loved her and the older I get, the more I understand her. How blessed you were to have such a lovely day enjoying the garden with your mum. Next time you see her, give her a super-big hug from me, will you?

Suburbia said...

Hi Scargosun, hope you have a good day Sunday.

Liz, no!! Try this universe instead!!

Dori, has he learnt any new words that he could actually say infront of other people!!

Thanks Rose and Karyne.

Hi BS5, SS is not scared of thunder but slep through the whole thing anyway! TG hates them and was up worrying for a while!

Thanks so much Maggie and yes definatly LSA. I like the caring aspect, so much nicer than teaching!

VP said...

A lovely post Suburbia. I always think true love is knowing someone's 'faults' but still liking them anyway. Your love for your mum shines right through.

BTW I've tagged you - I doooooo hope you wanna play. I've answered yours too :)

Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

Suburbia said...

Hi GWTM, Tall Girls camp went really well thank you. She had a great time and came back a new woman!!

Kitty hope all goes well with your mum. It's difficult to go home after being away, but lovely to have the sort of relationship where you can.

Bobo thanks for that. I guess there's no getting away from it. I'll be like my mum! I live such an exciting life don't I, what with all that sewing and domestication? Still, this is suburbia.

Oooh, a matching pair!!! Hi Hullaballoo, yes, I never learn to schedule in down time.

Suburbia said...

VP lovely to hear from you, I'll be over in a min to see my tag!

Misskris, it must be so hard to loose your mum. My mum had an uneasy relationship with her mother. I'm so glad things are easier for us. I'll pass on the hug:)

Liz Hinds said...

I was sure I left a comment. I wonder where it went. I wonder what I said. It was sure to be terribly intelligent.

Right, I've flicked through your post and vaguely remember. I said something about being like your mum, wanting so desperately to be helpful and do and say the right things for my children but how sometimes I have to kick myself and say, 'shut up now!'

I'm glad you had a good time in the end with your mum. Would she like to come and sew for me?

Jules said...

Aren't you lucky that she can come to visit? Sometimes it's so very nice to just sit down and have a nice little chat. No kids. No husband. To me it's very relaxing.

this is my patch said...

Loved hearing the story of your mum, you could have been describing mine. I remember visiting her from work in my lunch break and leaving armed with toilet rolls and bleach! For a year or two after mum died, my step dad didn't have to do a lot of shopping, let's say he was well stocked up! x