Almost daily diary!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

The Photocopier Man

We had a training session at work today instead of our weekly meeting. There is a new photocopier, it is deemed we need to know how to use it properly. Apart from the pure size of it, (it's a monster), there doesn't appear to be too much difference in the operating of it. We all gather round and ooh and ahh at the thing.

The man that comes to give the demonstration is obviously used to talking to gaggles of women, he is prepared, you can tell by the look of him. He starts his demo, we are all eyes, for about 15 seconds. Honestly, if we were the children in the classrooms we'd have had 'names on the board' several times as well as a letter home threatening exclusion. There are small whispered conversations between couples at the start and later full blown heckling from the back, the poor chap didn't stand a chance really but he persevered admirably.

I have to admit that once I knew the basics, I drifted off a bit. I found myself wondering what he looked like naked, and if he was any good at things other than photocopying..... I had to pull myself together pretty quickly I can tell you, I mean not only was I having inappropriate thoughts but he was no where near the realms of being anywhere near 'fit'.

By the time coffee break was over he was still only halfway through the demo. People started to wander off to do urgent jobs. In the end I asked to be excused, my brain was full, I had a class to go to and I didn't think I'd ever need to know how to erase or enlarge a margin. I mean call me a philistine, but there's always scissors and Pritt Stick if all else fails...


Rob-bear said...

I remember a movie, in which the secretary (an important by not key player) was always having problems with the photocopier.
At the end, she and the photocopier technician got married.
You see, such things can happen.
(Bear trundles out, quite promptly.)

John Going Gently said...

we are all important in the great scheme of things
thanks for stopping by!

BS5 Blogger said...

Rob, was that a sanitised précis of a spank movie?

Sub - fantastic post and made me laugh out loud on the Paddington to Bristol train, upon which I am reading MFS. I loved the tone (see what I did there?)

Steve said...

Poor bloke. A career teaching people how to use a photocopier.

Maybe he should do it naked to brighten things up a bit?

Anonymous said...

I say, what did he look like naked?
Only joking. Nice post. Amazing the things money can be wasted on.

Suburbia said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maggie May said...

Sub! I am surprised at what goes on in your head and in a school too! LOL!
I used to hate the photocopying sessions I had to do. I always managed to get the paper jammed or it would spew out hundreds when I only wanted one. However..... a whole day of teaching! Phew. A bit much even if you were all slow learners (which you obviously were not!)!
Maggie X

Nuts in May

Suburbia said...

A lot worse than he did clothed I reckon Dicky!

Rob-bear said...

BS5: You've got to be kidding! "Sanitised précis of a spank movie."
Actually, uh, no.
It's the movie called 9 to 5. It was an American comedy film starring Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin, Dolly Parton, and Dabney Coleman. Very mainstream.
Fonda's character is the divorced wife of a very rich man, who has gone broke. She has never had a job in her life, because she didn't need one. So she stats as a secretary in a large corporation, and has no end of trouble with the Xerox machine.
You'll have to watch the movie to get the rest of the hilarious details.
For the record, Bear doesn't do "sanitised précis of a spank movie." Only Humans would do that kind of thing.
As a Bear, I have my dignity! Really, BS (without the 5)!

nick said...

I remember a similar photocopier training session. It went on for about two hours and we all knew most of the information was irrelevant. In reality we'd just be making 1 copy or 100 copies and that was about it. I didn't actually succumb to imagining the (female) trainer naked, but I was certainly about 100 miles away mentally.

Looking for Blue Sky said...

I was feeling sorry for myself stuck in the house on a sunny day until I read really would wonder at the minds involved in setting such a thing up!

Furtheron said...

brave man!!! I'd have run a mile :-)

Rose said...

I've endured these training sessions, too, but I think they always forget to tell you the most important thing--what to do if the copier jams. Because, of course, it never works the way they claim it will.

You must have much better-looking copier men than we ever did:)

KalpanaS said...

Zen and the Art of Photocopying?


Liz Hinds said...

The trouble is even if someone taught me how to do double-sided without wasting half a tree of paper I'd forget by the next time I had to do it.