Almost daily diary!

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Confusd of Suburbia

All back to school today, including myself. Well, it should be. Tall Girl is fussing about feeling ill. She has no physical signs of illness, no temperature, no runny nose, she has not been sick, she is eating and went out to Guides last night. If anything at all she may be a little overtired.

I have the distinct feeling she is trying to miss school, but why? That is the bit that worries me. Is it a particular lesson she is trying to avoid, is there homework that she hasn't completed? She is a closed book, she will not let on. At the breakfast table this morning Small Sprog piped up, as I was trying to sort her out, "Perhaps she's being bullied" I have to say I think this is doubtful, as she seems to have really enjoyed school recently but I guess I should take it into consideration.

As he said it she burst into tears. She said she was, and then she said that she wasn't, she said she was being teased but couldn't tell me why. I suspect its all to do with having a boy friend, she doesn't know I know about him. When I ask who's teasing her she says it is her best friend. I get cross, mostly because I don't know what to believe. I suggest that she crosses the best friends name off the party list for next week.

So Small Sprog and I are off to school, and I am letting her stay at home. If I thought she was really ill I'd stay at home with her, but I don't think she's going to vomit or pass out. However I am uneasy about the whole thing. I am cross with myself that I didn't make her go to school. If she gets away with it today will she try to pull a sicky again? I don't like her missing a whole day for nothing, and will I disbelieve her next time when she's really ill? Am I cross because she's got the better of me?!

Confused of

PS. I missed my 400th post, this is my 402nd!


nick said...

Very perplexing when someone just won't let on what's bugging them. I guess all you can do is suggest sympathy and understanding and wait for her to reveal all in her own good time.

Steve said...

Tricky. You need to get her to talk about it and then you can help her to face it... unfortunately, though kids want to believe otherwise, you cannot escape from such situations. They have to be faced and dealt with. She has my sympathies. If it's any help to her people - especially "best friends" - usually resort to teasing when they are jealous...

menopausaloldbag (MOB) said...

Oh young lives eh? Such a hard time and full of insecurity. It doesn't hurt to let her have a day ruminating at home but you are right to be cautious if you see a pattern. You might get a better insight at her party as to how her friends are behaving with her. Girls can be cruel and jealous and maybe TG's friend feels threatened that this boy is stealing her friend away. At least you are on the ball and see the wee soul is upset. You'll sort it.

Maggie May said...

Congratulations on your 402nd post! I have lost track of how many I have done. Not as many as that, I think!

I find that girls seem to get more emotional about friends than boys. It is always girls who come to me upset at school asking me to help with friends who are teasing or refusing to play. Of course Tall Girl is much older than the age groups I have contact with, except for the upper age range who are much more secretive about their feelings.
If she becomes withdrawn and this goes on, then it might be as well to investigate the matter more fully. However I do feel that letting her off school shouldn't be repeated, else you will be starting off a habit.

I often don't feel like going back after a week off! Maybe that is all it is!
I have a week off sick now. Lovely to be able to watch people from the window scuttling in the rain & wrapping myself up in my cosy dressing gown, knowing I don't have to face playground duty!!

Furtheron said...

Sadly the point is the "bully" has now won that is the really sad point.

My daughter had a major issue a year and a half ago which scared the b'Jesus out of me and my wife. However she stood up brilliantly to it. I spoke with her about when the guilty party was returning and said "If you want to move school we'll support that". She looked at me and said "She is not going to keep me out of a school I like and I worked hard to get into". I was so proud.

Earlier this year she fell out with a good friend - it was a major shame and she was very upset - my kids seem to make long term friendships - my son especially if you are his friend it means something trust me. In the end it got to the point of a teacher needing to intervene, life got better since then for her but she has moved on and the old friend is exactly that... in the past tense.

The teenage years... oh what joys!

Maria said...

It's probably all of those things. I let my son stay off today as there was a test he was not quite ready for. He had prepared but is weak in the subject. I decided to let him stay out when he assured me that the test could be repeated.

Working Mum said...

Talk to her form teacher. It will probably pass, but the teachers can keep an eye on her for you.

Also, I'm guessing your daughter is 12ish; prime time for breaking old friendships and making new. Try to encourage her to join a new club at school and make some new friends.

Rose said...

Congratulations on your 400th post! That is quite a milestone!

I don't think it was a bad thing to let her stay home one day, as long as she doesn't ask to stay home again tomorrow. Those adolescent years are so hard; hopefully, it's just a minor incident that she will soon forget.

BS5 Blogger said...

402 great posts! Maybe you should tell TG about having a bf when you were at school and see if she opens up? I realise I am out of my depth as a chap, and a chap without children at that!

Grit said...

i think you did the right thing. The front defence line for kids are parents, and sometimes it's good to let them know we're listening and on their side, and will hopefully be there through a big part of their lives, much longer than school days. hopefully she'll talk about what's troubling her and together you can help work out strategies.

and i agree with wm; get the school involved quickly if there is any school-based issue. a good form teacher is a listener and protector too. i hope everything evens out for her and you.